People need the Lord!

2008-04-10T22:29:00.002+08:00

MOVED!

http://takingupthecross.blogspot.com

It's been some time on this blog.
It's a visible change.
I mean, you can check out the oldest posts on this blog, or even the really gross/icky ones in the OLDER blog... Under links (me)
God's been good!
And, I think it's time to move, and write into a new season(:

2008-04-07T22:25:00.001+08:00

Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE "PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE" )

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now
having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales. This is an
absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, "Purpose Driven
Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?

And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were
made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--
but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of
years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God
wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't
going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just
coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than
your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your
life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life.
The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the
toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark
time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that
anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like
two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good
and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad
that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something
good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,"which
is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid
of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of
thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for
her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her
character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a
testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For
instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million
copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with
before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or
for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety
and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide
what to do,

II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our
lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the
church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan
to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and
educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I
started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able
to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or
am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if
I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You
better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more
interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

The only person who could get all his work
done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.

2008-04-05T22:51:00.003+08:00

So long into the year, and somehow... I'm still learning to be single-minded about God.
Not to want to be single-minded, think of being single-minded, talking or hearing about it.
But, to BE.
Can't let go is next week.
I'm gonna write down ALL my fantastic expectations!
And I'm gonna believe that God will meet those expectations, just like He did before.
Actually, 1st quarter worship experience is... A memory...
From last year.
Although camp gave me breakthrough, worship experience.. (it was called... No greater love...
If I'm not wrong) and it was my step to action.
Breakthrough can happen in the attitude, and a hunger and passion can arise, but these things get worn down when there's no action and things go back to normal!
Somehow "No greater love" gave me that 'push' I needed to bring my relationship with God to the next level.
And I'm definitely praying hard more! (:
God bless ;D

2008-04-02T19:31:00.002+08:00

I'm not going to tell my parents stuff that are highly personal unless I have to.
Not because I don't like them- I DO.
I already said, "I DON'T KNOW!"
So tough not to write details. Thank God for LJ to rant about everything and not get read (:
Anyway...

Chorus 1
No eye has seen no ear has heard
The good that the Lord has prepared
For those who wait on Him
To hear His voice
I am the Potter and you are the clay

Chorus 2
No eye has seen no ear has heard
The goodness that I have prepared
For you who wait on Me
To hear My voice I am the Potter
And you are the clay

Verse 1
Jesus take me in Your hand
And make me all that You want me to be
Jesus help me understand my purpose
And what You can do through me
Fulfilling my destiny

Verse 2
Let Me take you in My hands
And make you all that I want you to be
I will help you understand your purpose
And what you will do in Me
Fulfilling your destiny

2008-04-02T18:44:00.002+08:00

Looking back, I have just so much to thank God for.
Some how I feel that I should write about the promises of God that always hold true, and how we should claim them and believe in faith.
I have a personal experience to share but I just don't feel like telling them.
Remember the last year after I signed up for SP class?
I signed up with no expectations. I intended to pick up some skills, grow to a new level, and basically learn how to SALT to people and all that...
But shortly after that, at service..
Anyway, I don't even feel like saying it here, although it's really supposed to be good!
I don't know what's up with me.
Maybe because I sense God revealing His future plans for me.
And it's unconventional, and scary.
Unbelievable too.
I'm really not sure either..
Anyway, for ALLSTARS email and for this, yea I'll be praying.
Gosh, why are the 9487891208934732895728957 things in my life now?
Some good.
Some stressful.
Some time-consuming.
Some bad.

2008-03-30T19:57:00.002+08:00

Ten shekels and a shirt
More for Christians though (:

Busy today!
Had my SP interview yesterday! Wasn't that scary la, I thought it would be worse!

PGC told me to go get a planner to plan my time.
And to be more detailed.
And not to impose my ideas on others, as a leader.
Just some advice. Because he thinks these might be applicable to me.
I agree with him.
Mind-reading! O:

Told him about the worship min stuffs because I was talking about school, MEP and he said I should go join worship min.
Haha.
It was decided that I would mug hard and do well and give them confidence.
Haha (:
That's the gist of it.

CHEM PT!
I started today, haha.
Oh well.
Less than 1/4 done!
BYE!

Bad Day

2008-03-17T21:30:00.002+08:00

God's been good.
Dry period, and in the midst of that, SP empowerment.
It was amazing.
And God's presence was so, so tangible.
I wouldn't say life has been a bed of roses since though!
In fact, quite the opposite.
Obstacles remain; they come one after another, no break in between.
Today was a bad day because of a bad misunderstanding.
It was a 'personal' thing which is worse.
Worse still, it wasn't true.
Oh well.
Really praying hard for favour from the Lord!
BUSYBUSYBUSY.
So much to do, so little time!

2008-03-08T20:11:00.002+08:00

The DIFFERENCE
Dedicated to my philosophy classmates, with whom I have only recently learnt the concept that a flawed premises that leads to a flawed argument ;D

Science and God
'Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'
'Yes sir,' the student says.
'So you believe in God?'
'Absolutely.'
'Is God good?'
'Sure! God's good.'
'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'
'Yes.'
'Are you good or evil?'
'The Bible says I'm evil.'
The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'
'Yes sir, I would.'
'So you're good...!'
'I wouldn't say that.'
'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'
The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'
The student remains silent. 'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.
'Let's start again, young fella Is God good?'
'Er...yes,' the student says.
'Is Satan good?'
The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'
'Then where does Satan come from?'
The student : 'From...God...'
'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'
'Yes.' 'So who created evil?'
The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'
Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues: 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'
The student: 'Yes.' 'So who created them?'
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them? There is still no answer.
Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.
'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'
The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'
The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'
'No sir. I've never seen Him'
'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'
'No, sir, I have not.'
'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'
'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'
'Yet you still believe in him?'
'Yes.'
'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'
'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'
'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'
The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own.
'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'
'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'
'And is there such a thing as cold?'
'Yes, son, there's cold too.'
'No sir, there isn't.'
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet.
The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'
Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.
'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'
'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'
'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have Nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?' The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'
'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'
The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'
'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'
'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'
'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do'
'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'
The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the Commotion has subsided.
'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'
The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter.
'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched, smelled or tasted the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'
Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'
'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'
Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'
To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'
Silenced, the professor sat down.

2008-03-08T20:01:00.002+08:00

Gosh, super busy for cantata!
Need to return everyday morning to evening Monday to Saturday!
Okay, nearly.
COME AND SUPPORT!
I'll be a pig.
You'll see me in costume singing and being retarded.
It's worth your $4 (:
Went for adult service today.
Sermon about prayer.
Spoke to me about why sometimes my passion for God doesn't go anywhere; I haven't been living a very prayerful life. I pray, daily and all, but... Not very much, I guess.
And it struck me that this year my passion and hunger for God has been going down. I just noticed.
And during the sermon (I wasn't entirely listening but received other revelations!), I remembered my emails to the allstars; the second was about HUNGER for God.
It just struck me so hard that the reason why God is putting me through all this lack of hunger and passion through this season of so much testing is because it is how I will then be able to understand my SBs, to guide them along. I even remember catching myself thinking: if they don't have a hunger, I can't do anything. I was kind of... Saying it as though it was all their fault. I guess the amount of hunger we have for God depends on us, but sometimes it's possible to want to hunger, yet not hunger in reality.
And this is really my greatest takeaway thus far.
That beyond just trying to tell my SBs to do this and that, Spiritual Parenting is much more than that. And instead of 'making' my SBs observe very ritualistic activities (like calling them for TAWG), stirring up their hearts to want to know God more, love God more is really the essence of discipling someone in having a personal and living relationship with God.
Wow, amazing. Even in a dry season like this, God can show me something so powerful. Isn't God awesome!
I just feel that passion for God coming back.

Verse 1:
There must be more than this
oh breath of God come breath within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for you
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Chorus:
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
a passion for your name
Spirit of God
fall in this place
Lord have ur way
Lord have ur way
with us

Verse 2:
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall
Lord let your glory fall

The same old songs speak and work in different ways in different situations.
Thank God

2008-03-02T11:47:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was interesting.
Some how, Sis Kim asked me how I was lately, I told her that I've been going through an arduous period of testing.
And then I suddenly realised that I just 'saw' (rather, perceived, according to Trinitarian magazine) a new season of my life. The 2008 season. The magazine talked about entering into the season and bearing fruits when you perceive it. And I believe that after seeing this season of testing that God is going to challenge my faith and bring about exponential growth, yay.
I wonder where I heard that word, it seems suitable enough.
Okay okay enough about cheem words.
Anyway, Sis Kim encouraged me to press on. She said that "Most of the time its under stress, pressure and testing that we grow to treasure our faith."
Honestly speaking, I've 'failed' all my testings so far. As in, since last year.
Though I've been growing but during periods of testing in past years, I haven't 'passed' the tests.
BUT I'M DETERMINED TO EMERGE VICTORIOUS FROM THIS ONE!
I HAVE JESUS IN MY SHOES! (:
That's why I have the devil underneath my feet~!

2008-02-29T20:44:00.002+08:00

I haven't blogged for donkey ears and a lot a lot has happened.
I guess.

Oh well.
But... it's gonna be settled, I know.
I told BZH.
And he might talk to me about it, I dunno...
But I promised God that if he does, I will not tell him the truth.
I will tell him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Which is... Hard.
Although on the surface it doesn't seem like very much, and I wouldn't call it anything 'wrong'.
It's just... odd.
I guess maybe I find it humiliating to talk about my PROBLEMS or my WEAKNESSES rather than something happy or good.
Maybe.
I've decided to drop french!
This decision shocked some ((:
But it's a decision I'm sure I won't regret! :D

2008-02-24T16:25:00.001+08:00

Guess what, Laura started on a new drama series.
3 episodes since yesterday, not THAT bad.
Romantic princess, hehe, that's the show xD
The one airing on S'pore TV but I have no time to watch.
The good thing about vids, you watch when you're 'free'/bored.
TV is fixed (but nice, clear, and big!!)
Oh well.
LAURA LIM, DON'T CATCH YOURSELF HOOKED.
MODERATION, MODERATION!

Seeking solace in God

2008-02-22T19:44:00.002+08:00

Today's been a terrible day.
SLI, so I had to get to school at 6.30am and my parents brought me there.
So naturally, not having had sufficient sleep, they were grouchy.
And so everything went on, school was perfectly fine.
Lunch at subway, not too bad, but gorged myself because I wasn't exactly in a very pleasant mood.
I've been really irritable these days.
My tolerance has gone down 50%.
I remember last year I was so determined to live as a testimony of God's amazing love that no matter how irritated/angry I was, I shut myself up.
This year my resolve is vanishing.
I've snapped at so many people already, in the past 1.7 months since the start of the year.
Time passes so quickly, I just can't believe it.
And I've mostly been snapping at my parents because they nag a lot.
I felt and still feel really really bad at it.
And when I'm not irritated, I keep saying sorry.
But I think my dad's really unhappy about it, and because I make a lot of mistakes, like losing things, wasting time, wasting electricity, being careless, being indifferent about important things... The list goes on.
And today in the car my mum was talking about saying no to any possible commitments throughout the course of the year because I'm at my personal threshold. I kinda agree, but not completely. Nevertheless, my mum says it and I trust that she's right about it. And she was saying that God created all of us humans, not superpowers. And we all have physical, emotional thresholds. That really got me thinking.
Emotional threshold- what does that mean; I feel like I'm bursting.
Physically, no I'm not stressed.
Homework needs to be cleared, there are so many things I can do. But parallel to my personal belief that time is 'created' in necessity and therefore there is enough time.
But yes, different from last year, I feel the stress piling up.
Fancy, I told BZH I don't get stressed easily.
Maybe God wants to humble me.
Responsibilities are one thing. In school, various people breathing down my neck, FT & CLET for admin, subject teachers for homework & exams, classmates for complaints (put nicely, feedback) about certain systems/practices (in a sense, very good they speak up but sometimes when they get too demanding it is incredibly stressful.) At church, Bro Zhi Hao. He doesn't put pressure on me, which is really nice of him, but nevertheless, a responsibility. Regular emails are really hard to write. Sometimes I'm just clueless as to what on earth I should be writing about. And it's stressful because there's a kind of QC involved. SBs also concern me, because they aren't taking responsibility over their own walk with God, rather, they are putting the responsibility on me. IH follow-ups are seldom stressful because they don't take long but they can still be occasionally.
Well, responsibilities are but part and parcel of life I guess, just that sometimes the weight of it just piles on my shoulders and it can get rather unbearable. Then again, responsibility is a privilege and I shouldn't be complaining.
Sometimes scolding can just double the stress. I told my mum that today, nicely and she was understanding about it. I told her 1. We should talk more to avoid misunderstanding/strained relations. 2. Sorry for being snappy, I'm really stressed. 2. Don't add to the stress by nagging.
I'm not phrasing it appropriately here, just that it's concise(:
Anyway a lot of stuff happened today that caused a lot of scolding, nagging and that really piled up on me.
The number of times I've sighed today is a testimony of that.
But when I got home I just kneelled before God and rambled everything to Him. And I sand One Way.
One Way is a very meaningful song. The lyrics have so much meaning, just that because it's a fast song, sometimes the words slip by without sinking in.
One Way
Intro: Gm# / Gm# / F# / F# / E / E /

B
I lay my life down at your feet
Gm#
You’re the only one I need
F# E
I turn to You and You are always there
B
In troubled time its you I seek
Gm#
I put you first that's all I need
F# E
I humble all I am, all to you

B
You are always always there
Gm#
every how and everywhere
F# E
Your grace abounds so deeply within me
B
You will never ever change
Gm#
Yesterday today the same
F# E
Forever till forever meets no end

B F# Gm# E
One way Jesus, You’re the only one that I could live for
B F# Gm# A Gm#/ E / Gm#/ E
One way,Jesus,you’re the only that I could live for

B F#
You are the way the truth and the life
Gm# E Gm#
We live by faith and not by sight, for you
F# E (END – B)
We’re living all for you

I turn to You and You are always there.
How true is that? It's the absolute truth. When I'm in the pits, the only one I turn to is God.
Why? No one else understands, and no one else bothers to understand.
No one cares enough, even though many care and do care a lot.
We're all predominantly selfish creatures, it's just the extent of it.
But God? Each and everything I've cried out to God, He's been there to listen, to comfort me.
And though today's been such a bad day, I really thank God for reminding me about how important it is to live by His strength, not my own, which is what I've been doing these 2 months, causing so much stress.
One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for! :D
Because I'm living for God, I will serve with excellence and dedication, faithfully and single-mindedly.
To draw upon the strength of God and follow His guiding hand.
This is my commitment today.
I know this is yet a new season of molding, growing and I just have the feeling that these months are going to be one of the more taxing periods in 2008.
But I thank God for molding & testing because without which, growth isn't possible, complacency sets on, everything goes.
And I guess that's why we're always being molded into who we are meant to be.
My next email will be thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure of it.
Had better go do IH followup and homework!
Forever- Chris Tomlin

Email #3- We pray, God listens!

2008-02-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

Hi ALLSTARS (on my blog, er, whoever actually bothers to come and read, hehe)!

I'm sure all of you enjoyed Friday's event! It's awesome seeing IGNYTErs bringing in nearly 200 FTVs that night! Great job! :D Continue to bring your friends for services/events and to pray and believe in their salvation, yea?

Yes, pray. I know this is something that some of us struggle with! But as I've been saying to those who've prayed with me, what counts is what comes from the heart. Of course, the use of verses, appropriate vocabulary etc is good to have, but I don't think that's the most important. One can blabber non-stop, using the most impressive vocabulary and the most appropriate and exhaustive list of things to pray about. But if the person doesn't mean it, if the people isn't sincere about it, it's just as good as nothing! I admit sometimes, especially if there's something I NEED to pray about, I blabber. It's like, I know HOW I should be praying, and I say everything out. And at the end of it I realise that I don't know what I've prayed for. It's sad! I know that's also one of the things I really need to work on this year, to mean everything that I pray.
You may ask, "Why is it so important to mean what I pray?" The thing is, God already knows what our needs are. When we pray, we are humbling ourselves to ask for it, which is what God wants! Just like even if your mum knows you need something, she might not get it right away! Sometimes, she waits for you to ask, right? ((:
2 Chronicles 7:14. "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
Remember that!

Now, I'd like to share an amazing testimony to all of you. This incident happened last year, around November, but it's only now that I see God's hand in it. I thank God that He has shown me that this is a powerful testimony of how prayer can work wonders, not just a mere coincidence as I dismissed it to be at the time when it happened.
I was blogsurfing one day when I chanced upon the blog of a girl my age called *Janice. Everything about her profile seemed fine, and she was even in the same class as one of my IGNYTE friends. I went to the 'posts' section and I was shocked to see so much hurt reflected in her first post, which was about being bullied. Even though I didn't know her, I could feel for her through what she had written. My heart went out to her and I thought, "She must come to experience the love of God that will heal her from all that hurt!"
Initially I wanted to tell my friend to bring Janice to church, but I didn't because I didn't know that friend well. So all I could do was to pray for her. I prayed hard that God would reveal Himself to her and that somehow or other she will come to experience His love.

Some time passed, and I forgot about the incident. That was until I saw my friend bring along a girl to church. I was thinking,"Great, an FTV!" but deep inside I thought, "Could that be Janice?"

And as I found out later, it certainly was.

I was totally totally amazed. I mean, I prayed for someone whose profile I had only seen online, and she didn't even know me. But by God's AWESOME power, she came to know Him.

Not only that. She began to regularly attend services and I eventually befriended her. And guess what? Less than 6 months from the start of this series of events, Janice rededicated her life to the Lord. God is good, amen?

As I recounted this to Janice and later, that IGNYTE friend, I asked, "Why did you decide to bring JANICE to church, out of so many people?" The response I received was, "You know what? She asked me to.

Why is God so awesome!!! :D

*Janice is a pseudonym

I hope this testimony has shown you that prayer IS powerful and effective.

God bless all of you mighty prayer warriors! :D

<3>

Reflections (not those that come from mirrors!)

2008-02-18T19:34:00.003+08:00

I notice that nowadays I tend to blog a lot of reflections. Used to hate doing that, now I thoroughly enjoy it! I find it very beneficial to get back and write about something that happened, something I've learnt, something I can improve one, or something about God/something amazing((:
Yep, today's gonna have more reflections.
Coming from a geog video.
I love videos. Especially the documentaries. I don't understand how people can sleep through lessons (okay maybe other than... french... maybe sometimes, lit!)
Today's video was about the kobe earthquake.
It was a 6.9 earthquake, big but not THAT big, yet the impact on the city of Kobe was devastating.
Suddenly, everything just came to a standstill.
Everyone was at a loss as to what to do.
It's like they just lost their lives, not physically but rather, they lost the lives they were living.
They lost their routine.
They lost their purpose.
And it struck me.
When something shocking and catastrophic like that happens, what would matter most?
If I were one of them, what would be important to me?
Money?
School grades?
Positions of power?
Popularity?
My life?
Helping others?
My friends?
My family?
God?
I couldn't answer myself, still haven't found the answer.
I think I'll probably turn to God especially if there's no one else.
But what would matter, other than that?
What would my purpose be?
I'll just leave you with these questions.
Responses will be appreciated!

2008-02-17T21:39:00.002+08:00

Service was awesome.
It really really refreshed me and reminded me to trust in God's promises.
I won't say what they are because, honestly, I don't dare to say it.
I'm pretty sure if not absolutely sure that they are promises from God but it's a bit big.
I've no problem believing the first, but the second... That'll take some time.
But with the prayer group in the wings, yea I trust in that promise!
Really really busy, better not say more.
Bye!

2008-02-16T00:00:00.002+08:00

222nd post!
Cool, heh.
Anyway today (friday) was a tiring day.
So long.
And the devil was draining me.
Making me walk up and down, waiting for people, doing this and that.
But thank God I still have energy at the end of the day for P.S. I love you.
P.S. I love you was fantastic.
It wasn't a large-scale thing and some singing was out of tune.
But really, it was the message that Pastor Gary preached that spoke to the people.
It was so amazing to see crowds of people gathered at the altars to accept Jesus into their lives.
I didn't get any salvations but SALTed to a couple of people...
Anyway, I was just reading my old blog and yea I was thinking about what I went through last year.
I really blogged a lot last year and as I skimmed through the posts I could just see the seasons that God brought me through, like growth for some months, and then testing, and then more growth, and then more testing, and at the end of the year God was just calling me to rise up, encouraging me with leaders and friends, and then testing me again.
It's amazing.
I've been quite distant from God these days, I attribute it to hana kimi and drama watching and homeworking too but I'm not going to let it drag.
I want that relationship restored.

Consuming Fire
Verse 1:
There must be more than this
oh breath of God come breath within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for you
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Chorus:
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
a passion for your name
Spirit of God
fall in this place
Lord have ur way
Lord have ur way
with us

Verse 2:
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall
Lord let your glory fall

(repeat chorus)

There's quite a lot to do.
Besides homework, vday notes!
And prayer guide for the allstars, as well as emails #3 & #4.
I think I'll stop blogging about my SBs so that I can open my blog to the Allstars and put it back on my MSN.
I really want this to become a form of encouragement to them, and also so they won't be creeped out by me!
Should spend tawg now, bye!

2008-02-14T22:19:00.003+08:00

I've got quite a bit to blog about, just that I'm not blogging.
One thing is that I've finished Hana Kimi.
Liked it, but not going to use time so extravagantly ever again!
I'm in a weird stage of my life.
My own spiritual health is suffering, I can tell.
Not engaging during worship/TAWG, getting short-tempered, church things seem more like tasks than things done out of love, even the words I use.
Not that I'm back to the F word or anything close, but I'm 'swearing' more, which is bad, even though the words I use are seen as harmless.
And, the stuff we talk about aren't good either.
Laura, get back on track.
Amazingly, despite my critical condition, I still have such a burden for my SBs.
When I see/think of them, I just feel so much that they HAVE to encounter how AWESOME God's love is.
I'm discipling Miyuki more 'seriously' (alternate day 'TAWG' with her) because she's quite 'open' (though not exactly enthusiastic.)
I don't know what to do with the twins.
How do you disciple 2 at once?
Do they spend TAWG together?
I'm really clueless.
Well anyway in all things praise God!
P.S. I Love You! ((:
Serving.
Oh God, empower me.
I think I still remember B.D and my personal testimony......

2008-02-13T20:56:00.001+08:00

today- luke 9:1-9
14/2- luke 9:10-17
15/2- luke 9:18-27
16/2- luke 9:28-36
17/2- luke 9:27-45
18/2- reflect
to darling yuenwan/alison.
So sorry I'm a great big procrastinator O:

2008-02-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

Laura Lim you stopped at 14-5.

Dramamama

2008-02-08T19:28:00.000+08:00

NOOO...
Not drama mama as in being crazy and dramatic.
I have BAD BAD NEWS.
I'm watching 2 dramas at the same time.
I watch TKA on Mondays/Tuedays/Wednesdays after each episode comes out on Sunday.
If it isn't bad enough, I just started watching Hana Kimi.
Hah, slow.
It was aired last year, I know!
I was just super super bored and I started watching it.
I feel super guilty but the show's nice!
I wanna finish it.
I know I should be able to finish by Monday. I've watched 6 episodes since yesterday O:
And I think the best thing is to finish the whole series before school starts!
But I have a feeling my parents are going to ban me from comp if I continue being cooped up in my room till Sunday.
But seriously la! I just wanna finish it so I can be a good girl.
I mean like 1 episode a week is fine, but 15 episodes of hana kimi in 4 days (though doable) is nuts.
And abonormal.
Oh man.
Anyway, gotta go, still have work (and more hana kimi!)

2008-02-06T16:38:00.002+08:00

IH NAME TAG! WHEE. So high. WHEE. Not TOO much CNY homework. 1 CL si han, memorise 25 cheng yu, a-math worksheets, edit commonwealth essay, MEP worksheets. One more to my list. LAURA LIM, TIDY YOUR ROOM! GRR...
Oh and actually also spend some time to talk to my SBs!!
Sometimes, just sometimes(!!) it's quite frustrating.
I'm not complaining or anything.
It's just that when you just watch them, you know what they need but at the same time you can't do it for them!
I need patience.
Oh and haven't called Janella to discuss about the prayer guide yet.
Yep, lots of church 'homework'. Haha, but I don't treat it like homework!
I really really enjoy it, yay.
1. Email #3 to the ALLSTARS
2. Prayer guide for ALLSTARS
3. whatelsewhatelse OH YA IH TAG! Finalising only though, heh.
I had better start CALLING people before I have to go for reunion dinner.
Gosh, I kinda... (not) look forward to it (reunion dinner I mean!)
"Laura I haven't seen you for so long! You've grown!"
"Aiyo, but also got fatter already."
"Now primary 6? Or JC 2?"
"Orh, RGS arh. Are you in the top 50%?"
"Aiya, not all RGS people are smart la. *blah blah blah*"

2008-02-04T18:36:00.000+08:00

I haven't blogged really long.
I'm scared of unknown readership.
I always thought my blog wasn't read! xD
But I think I should blog as if no one's gonna read it!
Anyway, God's been good.
So many things have happened, so many things have passed.
So many things have dragged on from last year.
And, so many things have finally been resolved.
Thosed involved/whom I talk to/who know me well probably know what I'm talking about.
Gosh, thank God.
I never imagined that this was how the whole thing would be resolved.
I always wondered about that! :D
Gosh, thank God.
And things did come out of it, good things.
I mean, it was a sort of waste of time, though not a lot of time, heh.
And though this I know 1 person was blessed.
At least, I hope so.
And it's been inspiring and encouraging even through the whole thing and I've learnt a lot from you and I've gained a whole lot of respect for you.
I have one fear- one I only shared with ONE person((:
But I seriously pray hard that's not gonna happen.
I don't think it will, but I have to be very careful what I do, how I behave, and always assess how I feel xD
At least, intrapersonal intelligence is my high (: heh.
This is just one of the things I came to blog about today.
Today 2 other things that impacted me:
1. Geography video on volcanoes
2. Class chairperson leadership workshop
And, I also hope to draft my 'thanksgiving' once BZH approves the topic.
Thanksgiving is something I've learnt to value more and more even as I grow in my walk with God, even as I am exposed to more things, negative things happening to so many people.
Or sometimes, just admiring the beauty of God's creation and the awesomeness of His fantastic plans.
God's plans never fail to make me GASP at their perfectness!
Like recently, THOSE incidents?
The 2 slightly church-friend related ones, heh.
Okay change topic.
Geog videos.
I was going to cry, seriously.
But there wasn't much to cry about.
It's just that the lava flowing out of the volcanoes is so so beautiful and the way they work out, connecting to the law of conservation, and everything, trenches, ridges, it's so awesome.
And as I was wowing over everything it suddenly dawned upon me that these things were the work of God's single-handed creation.
I mean like there are so many people who think that they are good and say they don't need God. I mean I don't deny that they are good when compared to fellow humans! But God? No offence, I honestly think there is not the slightest chance anyone who could even get close.
Yea, God is good!
Okay class chairperson's workshop.
It was surprisingly good. Basically we learnt about leadership styles and how to adapt ourselves to suit our 'customers' the class and to suit the others we work with (EXCO, teachers.)
One thing that really struck me was when he told us to write our personal mission statement.
Honestly I was surprised people actually wrote get good grades, earn lots of $. Gosh, I don't think that's my life mission.
I took a long time, and till now, no I don't know my life mission. But I do know that I'm going to align my life mission to the great commission! For the harvest, just like the harvest SP class video (did I actually describe it?)
Yea I still don't know what God's plan is for my life but what I do think I know is that I don't have a full-time call. At least, I don't think so. Though I personally wouldn't mind! Heh.
A lot of work.
But wait one more thing- SBs!
What I'm concerned about is hunger. To grow, they really need to get down and be desperate.
I can't feel desperate for them, though I can pray with them, I can observe, set them goals (eg Miyuki Dec SP class). The goals part I just felt that way. Even though honestly if you ask me, I don't think she's ready. What I thought of in the bath. Don't know if it was God, something within me just prompted me "If it could be done for you, why not her?" and also the song. The communion song What He's Done. The very one I mailed to the Allstars not long ago!
I don't know how to talk to Adelle and Amelia. I'm a bit scared.
And I think Miyuki's a bit intimidated by me! O: Today I actually 'prayed' for her. She wasn't comfortable with praying. Reminds me of my Benavon experience in Jan'07! Thinking about past doesn't get me anywhere, I should stop! But of course it teaches me to be humble and thankful((:
Had better get to work O: Need to sleep at 1030pm!
Gosh.
Oh 6 prebelievers invited for vday! Pray pray pray!

I'm learing twit talk!

2008-02-03T15:22:00.000+08:00

I haven't titled my posts for friggin long, heh.
I just got sick for writing 'today' or 'something interesting' or 'something that really touched me' just because I'm really TOO lazy to come up with some spectacular alliteration/pun like 'our HAIR-RAISING experience at assembly (literally so)'. Okay that was copied from Miss Ong.
We were flicking hair and Ms Ong came and asked us "girls, is it so HAIR-RAISING?' and we were laughing our guts out, heh.
But twit talk.
Not trying to be elitist or something, but I hate twit talk.
Simple reason, it's hard to read.
But well, I've been trying to pick up twit talk! xD
Hah, I bet you don't know why.
Clara.
I've just invited her for P.S. I love you.
I really really hope to see her there.
Well she uses quite a good measure/vocabulary of twit talk, whereas I like to SMS with whole words.
And I figured she'd find me stuck-up/show-offy if I used whole words throughout!
Hah. Thank God I was a twit in P5.
Okay fine not exactly TWIT as in TWIT.
Lyk heyys im sry 4 juz nw kk.
Not soriix ferz juxx nwz kkaexzxz
Haha.
No offence meant, strictly a joke.
Well, is that a revolution?
Perhaps not.
B. Andy said that you don't yoke with them, but twit talk isn't wrong PER SE, unless it's from an english teacher's POV.
Eg, Miss Ong.
I remember vividly the 'TYVM class' 'TYVM Ms Ong' after talking about abbreviations, thank you very much! :D
Hehe.
History FA
Math wksht (I accidentally typed math wk'poo' just now O: notty notty!)
CL 'storytelling'
I hope that's all gahhhh

2008-02-01T23:08:00.000+08:00

I am very honoured.
But I also feel a great sense of responsibility.
BZH's returning to M'sia for CNY, so he'll be missing tomorrow's and the week after's service and FUEL.
Which means something...
Our buzz group has a total of 18 people.
With 2 no-shows (that I haven't seen before) and plus Clara and others, actually more.
But yea.
Anyway, BZH sent us the FUEL notes yesterday, with a short message.
'Hi all, please go through this material, Laura will lead, but the rest please be prepared for this in case there is a need to split the group into 2. Have fun this week in FUEL. Keep me updated.'
Gosh, I was shocked la!
I was, okay fine, I was very honoured, I guess.
But I got a little worked up.
I'm so mixed I don't know how I feel.
I think I feel partially confident (perhaps overly so) and partially inadequate (the same SP class feeling!)
But well, trust in God, Laura Lim!

2008-01-31T21:21:00.000+08:00

50 votes, if Laura didn't count wrongly!
There was a long time, like say 10min, where I kept refreshing and my votes stayed at 49 okay!
I was thinking, "Gosh, don't tell me I'm gonna be a congress applicant who didn't get in because she had only 50 votes -_-"
Haha, when I was thinking that way, nothing happened.
The total votes went up, mine stayed.
Wah, I was stressed man.
Then I remembered my mum saying something like "never curse yourself".
Haha so I 'broke' it, and when I refreshed, one more vote!
WHEEEEEHaha, I seriously hope I counted less than more though!
If I only have 40 but counted 50 and I stop 'campaigning', I'll be in trouble man ><

2008-01-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how some songs don't make sense till you encounter situations.
Like, Above All.
I've been pretty worked up theses few days. Not stressed, just busy busy busy.
MEP exam and congress voting just added to it.
And especially for congress voting I've been quite GRRR and anxious, basically.
During worship just a couple of moments ago, I was led to the song Above All. And suddenly, though I never really understood it, it just spoke directly to me.

Above All
Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

It talks about God's sovereignty. That no matter what it is, no matter who it is, no matter what's going on, God is sovereign and He IS above all. That He's in control and He loves us. And to trust in Him by faith, that He has the best plan.
Amazing.
Okay I'll go read the Word now, bye!

2008-01-30T16:32:00.000+08:00

Super thick-skinned, I know!

VOTE ME FOR CONGRESS!
The link is in student's portal, under student links.
Click 'student congress'.
Then click the survey at the bottom left hand corner.

Yep, and vote for Lim Shi Ying Laura 210 ((:

You can vote as many people as you like!

2008-01-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

Hope this encourages!

Hello ALLSTARS!

I hope you look forward to this email, just take it as a mid-week reminder not to forget about God(:
I'm sure you've all been faithful in following the Bible reading plan, and praying for your friends in your Battle Plan, right? *grins*
Well... Not all is lost if you haven't, it's not too late to start! You only have less than 6 chapters in luke to catch up with((: Certainly good news for you!

Before I begin my 'message', I just want to thank you all for reading my previous email! Please continue to do so! It would also be great if you would like to reply some thoughts/reflections about the email to me! But that's totally optional. Any feedback/suggestions, possibly as to what I can email all of you about, are also welcomed.

Okay this email will be based on the verse from Jeremiah 29:13. God says "You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart". I'll be sharing about what this means, how it applies to us, as well as some personal experiences.

Back to Jer 29:13. When I first heard of this verse, I was like "DUH!" When you search for God with all your heart, you will obviously seek God! But now, what I feel this verse really means is that when we come to a point of desperation for God, He will honour that desperation with a greater hunger for Him, and He will honour that hunger by revealing (more of) Himself to us.
That might sound a bit complicated, so it might help if I showed a Biblical example?
If you remember, we read luke 5:27-32 a few days ago. It was about Levi a tax collector (who were notorious for swindling $$ at that time.) But the moment Jesus called him, he left everything and followed Jesus. That's how hungry he was to repent and change his way of life! I think the word 'everything' here summarises too much. Do you know the magnitude of the word everything? Think of the EVERYTHING in your life. If Jesus came one day (and you knew it was him) and called you, would you be hungry enough to follow him? Think about it.

Honestly speaking, if Jesus really came one day, I might not be hungry enough to drop everything and just follow him. I mean, I guess I would, but it's hard to say. I've struggled (still do sometimes) with keeping my hunger and passion for God going 24/7, year round. Sometimes TAWG becomes so much of a routine, it becomes a chore. I guess with our sinful human nature, it's difficult to continuously have so much zeal for God. I've been getting dry spell after dry spell recently, especially if I miss services or TAWG. I notice that trend in myself, so I really try as much as possible not to! Though my passion might not keep on burning (kerosene can run out okay!), putting in effort to keep it going helps! And the time we spend with God renews us and keeps us going! I testify to that(: So don't be discouraged if sometimes you feel distant or indifferent (bo chap) about God. Press on, don't let go!

Or what if you don't know how a touch of God feels like? I can't describe it in words, just know it's indescribably awesome. Even if you don't FEEL God or love God or something, maybe you could try thinking of all the things you have, people around you, nature, all your blessings and gifts, and think of God, your creator. Keep giving thanks to God, and pray for hunger! If you don't know how to pray, ask God! (:

Just always remember "This is love: not that we loved God, but He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:10)
It's not about the love we have for God that arises from us, but the love God has for us that causes us to love Him and want to know Him more!

Keep on praying!

<3>

[692 words]

2008-01-27T22:26:00.001+08:00

Quick note. Clearing homework.
Was clearing sent SMS folder, glad to see many thank yous from me to others (:
It's always good to encourage xD

2008-01-27T19:42:00.001+08:00

Today I did something totally out of the norm.
I emailed to Sumiko Tan to share the gospel with her.
Haha, interesting?
I hope I'm not in danger of getting arrested or something.
The email was a gentle one, not like... Forceful or anything. I just said it as a suggestion and shared a simple personal testimony, and used an anonymous account?
Haha, if you want to read the email, ask me! Heeheehee.
Anyway, I should seriously write the email to the ALLSTARS before BZH actually goes to his hometown within the course of the week.
Gosh, I should do it now, BUT I HAVE HOMEWORK, NOOOOOOO.
Anyway, bye!

2008-01-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

God spoke to me what to write to the allstars!
And to share with them about the post-camp issues I faced that I learnt that though events are good to hype us, it's really the hunger, the love we have for God that has to keep on pushing us on.
And to share with them (one of) the thorns in my flesh- being indifferent (bo chap).
And that's what caused me to experience quite a lot of dry seasons, especially the moment I look back and see how much God's grown me, sometimes I get complacent and not hunger any more. But that's not the way God wants it to be.
Ohno, I'm preaching.
Haha.
I don't think I have a full-time call, but I know (a lot of people warned me) that I have a weird, unusual call. It scares me.
Yep yep. And I want to ego!
Can I ego?
I shall ego.
I boast in the Lord.
LOL!
Paul says that all the time.
I can recite the books of the Bible backwards! (without a Bible, of course!)
Okay but I take really long, because when I'm unsure, then I recite it forward until I get to that book.
Let me try...
I won't refer to any Bible, promise!
Correct any mistake if you see one!
Revelation, Jude, 3 John, 2 John, 1 John, 2 Peter, 1 Peter, James, Hebrews, Philemon, Titus, 2 Timothy, 1 Timothy, 2 Thessalonians, 1 Thessalonians, Colossians, Philippians, Ephesians, Galatians, 2 Corinthians, 1 Corinthinans, Romans, Acts, John, Luke, Mark, Matthew, Malachi, Zechariah, Haggai, Zephaniah, Habakkuk, Nahum, Micah, Jonah, Obadiah, Amos, Joel, Hosea, Daniel, Ezekiel, Lamentations, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Song of songs, Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, Psalms, Job, Esther, Nehemiah, Ezra, 2 Chronicles, 1 Chronicles, 2 Kings, 1 Kings, 2 Samuel, 1 Samuel, Ruth, Judges, Joshua, Deuteronomy, Numbers, Leviticus, Exodus, Genesis
5:31:23
That's the timing, haha, how slow!
I would try it forward and show the difference in timing, but that would be WAY too haolian.
Haha, I was really really excited about this Bible thing because I think it's so fun!
Okay fine, I admit going up during FUEL today was kinda cheating because I memorised it 3 years ago, in my other church((:
Oops!
Haha, but I got an extra mentos! After koping so many from yuenwan.
Yep yep it's 11.42pm
Better sleep, obey higher authority (parents!) ><>

2008-01-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

I've been rather busy these few days.
Over the course of the week, I've been clearing backlog, sleeping rather late.
And I don't know, I just feel that I'm drifting away from God.
The bulk of me says I should hunger like crazy, yet a small part of me says "Don't bother."
I know which to listen to.
I've also been watching quite a lot of TKA. I love the show.
But I think I shouldn't be wasting so much time on it.
I originally wanted to talk about the bizarre msn convo from last night.
Basically 3 guys I didn't know were talking to me.
One of them met me in a mass convo one of my juniors added me too.
It was kind weird because...
Gosh I can't say it.
Not that it's anything to do with me, it just sounds WRONG!
Okay fine, the really funny thing is that one of the guys told the other 2 of them that I was his gf!
My goodness, these people scandalise my pure name.
Reminds me of the chu lee voon song xD heehee
Hahaha, how queer.
Anyway I came today intending to write my allstars email.
It's kinda late for this week, I'll get it checked over the weekend and send it on Tues/Wed.

Hi all stars!
I'm sure all of you enjoyed service last week and mission mandate before! Hope all of you are still as fired up and passionate as you were a week ago. These events really help to hype us up, but I believe that most importantly, we need a heart that loves God and desires to serve Him as best as we can! But even when we are passionate, it's important to do a self-examination! Be certain that it's not just evangelism that we're passionate about, but that we are passionate about God, for whom we share the gospel!
Yep, that was a reminder that I felt was timely.
Just to give you a short introduction, this email will be about a hunger for God. I'm not sure, but I've been speaking to some people over this week, and I just sense that this might be important to point out, at this point in time.
I don't think this email will be as long as the first one, but the main focus of today's email is really to share with all of you that it's really important to hunger after God, to have a heart that either loves God, or wants to love God, in order to grow. And I hope all of us want to? (:

Okay okay I shall go now. No time... O:

2008-01-22T19:38:00.000+08:00

I suddenly realised that I do have a bit of time. I thought I wasted a lot of time, as in, not growing a remaining stagnant. Suddenly I realised that though I did waste time, it's not all over. And I remember asking myself, how am I going to grow? TAWG doesn't seem to be getting me any where. And in GB God reminded me that growing wasn't about what I DO, it's really the heart after God that God's looking for. And, it's not up to me, it's up to God. About the heart, sometimes I just lose the heart. Sometimes I just find it hard to keep it up. And I worry a little for Miyuki. As in, she's not very hungry. Oh God, give me the heart of commitment and discipleship is pray and intercede for her through the course of this year.
Amelia is also quite dao. I SMSed and she didn't reply.
And the both of them are gonna think I'm quite nuts with all this discipling, and the other girls are going to think I'm biased.
But I'm not! :X
I was ASSIGNED.
Ohman, 2008 is so stressful.
I found out so many good things about Bryan last night, I got so stressed.
The other PSP in my buzz group has to be a super-passionate one.
I mean, that's good, but he's VERY quiet and doesn't really talk/volunteer.
But he's brought 2 people to church already.
Now you see why I'm stressed right!
Ohman and I hope I will be able to keep this blog from my whole buzz group for the whole year! If I talk about my buzz group all the time, not always good, talking about what I feel about so and so, I can't be letting them read it! ><
Ohman, and my parents are talking about shifting the laptop out of my room!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Well, okay, it's be good for me!
Okay okay better scram, then they might change their minds.
Okay I'll go study ting xie soon!
Bye!

2008-01-22T19:15:00.000+08:00

It's been. A year that really stood out for me. It passed faster than I could grasp, that I would allow myself to comprehend and it could only me pulled along in it's train ride. It's been a great year. Sure, it wasn't great and sunshine always. In fact I can't remember when I've felt so busy, so flustered but yet happy, really enjoying it all at the same time. The friends, the new experiences, the new loves, new responsibilities all came to play. But what truly made it great for me was that it was with God. Last year was one where I remember, I reflect how much I grew in God, the year which leads me to who I'm going to be for God. The year that made the foundation be firm. Who changed who I was. And that, made it the best of all , because I stayed firm in God, I found out who I am in God all over again, and who I can be in God. Who I'm going to be.

And that, made it great.

I really don't know why I went to Benavon's old blog to search for her 2007 post, to read her thoughts as a 'new' Sec 2. I just felt a sudden compulsion to read it. Just as I felt it last year when God spoke to me about being a God who is able, and that He can do for me what He did for Benavon.
This bit that Benn wrote in 2007 January speaks my heart about 2006, which is precisely why I copied it. I'm not the best with words. I can see how apt Benn's description was of the past year. And it's much better than mine.
The reason why I felt reading what Benn wrote might help is because, the time God started growing her was the around same as the time God grew me (as in, we were the same age.) And well since I was spurred on by what she wrote on her blog in P6 when I read it last year, what I read today might just help.

2007.
I'm excited about it. For once I'm looking forward to 2007. It's going to be a really great year. One with God, one where not just me, but friends, many good friends will rise up for God, in our schools, in church, in leadership, where we rise up with courage. It's going to be great not because everything will be easy sailing, in fact I think it may be one with the most challenging times, where you just want to give everything all up. But I'm convinced, that with God we'll find that strength, to gather up and move on, though alone, though stranded, we'll go on. And one year from this moment, we'll look back and see the harvest , and see the rewards, past the struggles.

I'm going to rise up for God and that in itself is scary, overwhleming but yet so exciting with so much anticipation. It's amazing. Cause that's what my God's love is. Unstoppable, powerful.

Ohman, I love this. I don't have to say anything, it fits for me!
And oops, Miyuki's online, better talk ((:
I haven't spoken to my SBs before, oops!

2008-01-22T16:52:00.001+08:00

Ohno, I think I'm becoming zi lian, haha.
Nope, joking.
I'm just obsessed over my webcam ((:
I just suddenly realised that it's quite sharp, so I started using it to take stupid photos when I'm bored!
Literature tea tomorrow.
My suspicion. It's going to be a disaster.
Possibly.
Actually I realised Ms OSJ is quite nice, but she's quiet.
I THINK.
She can find humour in people (but she can't really joke.)
Well, I mean, at least she can take jokes!
Which is why I THINK she is Ms Sharon Ong's friend, heh.
Laura likes Ms Sharon Ong!
Haha, maybe Ms Ong was nice to 111 last year.
But not everyone from 111 liked/likes her.
Anyway, she doesn't teach me now.
If I'm not wrong,she's 209 form teacher.
Thank God for Mrs Koh.
As in, Ms Ong's really nice, but form teacher? I don't think I'll like that.
Okay... Maybe I might.
Like, especially if I was Sec 3?
Ms Ong in OBS?
HAHAHAHA, I laugh.
And oh did I mention that I'm dead?
Ms Loo told my MEP class to compose a lied (while I was away).
And, I think it's due on Thursday, along with lots of other work!
YAY! (my foot)
In case you didn't know, a lied is a german song consisting of 2 parts, a vocal part and a piano part.
PIANO PART=HARMONY=DIE
Vocal part is easy though?
Just that the placing the strong words on strong beats all the time isn't going to be easy.
><
Ohman.
And I'm writing my zuowen now!
Oops, my time just ran out.
Better chiong now, bye!

2008-01-20T10:08:00.000+08:00

I heard mission mandate was fab.
Haha.
Yuenwan was so cute, so hyped-up last night.
Fine, ALISON, for the slow group.
Hahaha.
I wish I was there but I still don't believe that people can't get hyped-up without mission mandate!
Haha being hyped-up is one thing, but keeping the same passion for sharing the love of God to others all year round is another thing. And that's something that I need to grow in this year, as I've said a gazillion times.
There are some things I've learnt to let go too.
I realise that after a long while of trying and someone's still angry, there's nothing I can do about it.
Haha, but at least we never met xP
I miss Christian music, haven't heard much of it for really long.
I was about to type 'for the longest time' but I realised that isn't really true, and that's PGC's fave saying.
Ohman, there's so much going through my head but so little I really wanna say!
I don't really like a private blog though.
I like this blog the way it is ((:
Very little traffic, I THINK! Unless everyone's just silent and doesn't tag. NOW THAT'S SCARY.
Occasional readership is nice, but I wouldn't like the whole world to be reading my rants and all! xD
Okay enough of that.
I'm trying to clear my commonwealth stuff.
I love my compo!
Haha okay maybe not.
I'm doin B3, the one about giving advice to a family with teenagers, but I'm worried it's too casual.
It's quite... bizarre.
I decided to give my advice to just ONE family, in a kind of story setting.
The parents are called Mr and Mrs Grownold!
Don't copy that! xD
Hahaha.
A week has passed.
Email writing time again.
I'll do it during the weekdays but I don't know what to write about!
Ohman.
Haha shall go back to my compo now, bye!

2008-01-19T16:27:00.001+08:00

201th post!
I decided to do the 'personality' tests that the RAM'08 people were supposed to do!
I'm a visual learner xD
Okay fine I already knew that.
But I always thought I was more kinesthetic than auditory but maybe I'm wrong, haha!
I'm global and not analytical.
I knew that too ((:
Haha seeing how imprecise and inaccurate I am, leaving out all the details xD
But the difference in length between my global and analytical bars was only 1mm.
Hah.
I'm doing the multiple intelligences tests now!
Results are out!
This thing is pretty accurate man! xD
The highest ranking are (they all tie for 1st):
Logical-mathematical, Musical & Intrapersonal
Their bars are all 5cm in length (haha desperate attempt to be precise xD)
Next highest:
Linguistic & spatial, both 4.2cm each.
And then comes bodily-kinesthetic at 2.1cm, and finally interpersonal at 1.4cm.
Haha.
I KNEW IT! xD
*ego*ego*
I've been telling my friends that I'm hardly a social person, now this is proof! xD Yippee.
LOL.
I can psyche up large groups of people, like the All Stars or my class ((: but I'm bad with relating to people at a social level, unless the person is really my kind. xD
Yay intrapersonal = inward looking = self-centred.
Haha, no la.
Intraopersonal is knowing yourself.
Haha, I think I do!
I know what I'm thinking and how I will react in whatever situation you throw me, haha.
*ego*ego*
And, these results also show that I think like a guy.
Ohman.
Haha, thank God I know I'm not gay or something.

2008-01-19T15:47:00.000+08:00

Thank God I've more or less recovered! ((:
YAY.
I really wanted to go for mission mandate but my parents told me to stay home because they wanted me to rest well and recover fully! Haha, I agree la, but it's sad.... ><
By the way!
200th post :D
Yay.
I wrote more than 100 posts this year xD

2008-01-18T16:29:00.000+08:00

SO, I don't have bronchitis.
According to my research, I have none of the symptoms to suggest that I have bronchitis, other than fever (which is only occasionally a symptom of bronchitis.) And, bronchitis starts with a long cough lasting 2-3 weeks, and I haven't been coughing.
That's the good new, I don't have bronchitis.
The bad news is, I have a flu.
And a fever, but that's more or less gone now.
I really really really wanna go for mission mandate and FUEL, and serve tomorrow, but that might be a bit heavy for me because it's quite long...
My parents' think it's best if I don't go tomorrow BUT BUT BUT nooooooooooooooooooooooooo......
Okay okay I shan't be so stubborn. (but I am!)
What if I serve and go for service but not FUEL?
Or just service?
Or just service and FUEL?
Or all three? ((:
Ohman, what kind of decision is this.
And, I certainly cannot afford to miss another day of school, my parents say.
Okay I'd better go back to rest.
Bye!

2008-01-16T14:39:00.000+08:00

Sick.
Ohman.
Brochitis ><
AHHH
HOMEWORK
english comprehension
math factorisation by grouping
english mindmap.
is that all!
I hope!
oh, there's french too.
Had better get to work.
I watched the Sis Joanna webcast already!
So kelian!
I think she really really waited VERY long.
Haha.

2008-01-15T19:44:00.000+08:00

Oh my goodness Laura's having a fever.
No thermometer so don't know temperature ><
Gosh, AHH.
I want to do my stuff!
My homework!
I don't wanna skip school ><
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2008-01-14T19:36:00.000+08:00

Hello!
Laura's embarking on an internet/computer fast from TODAY to FRIDAY.
So, don't ask me if my internet connection isn't working, my mum blew up, my computer conked out, I moved house, I couldn't finish my homework, etcetcetc.
It is none of the above.
IGNYTE fasting prayer pointers says 'Refrain from food and other temptations."
So basically I'll turn my computer on once a day to check email and if necessary/suitable, to update my blog (only encouraging things allow for these few days!)
And then I'll leave, spend TAWG, bathe, do homework, practice whatever instrument I need to, brush my teeth, sleep.
Right.
And, I'll only check my SMS before I sleep!
Now, isn't that FAN-tastic?
Okay okay won't crap.
Wait wait.
I have a resolution I want to put into place.
I shall call it RESOLUTION #1!
#1. To strive as much as possible to live a life that is Holy and blameless as a good testimony to those around.
HAH.
These RESOLUTIONS are meant to aid me in working towards my 3 goals backed by 3 verses I shared earlier on in the year.
Okay okay will spend TAWG so bye! :D

2008-01-11T20:02:00.000+08:00

School's been awesome, honestly.
My teachers are all great, or at least I haven't met any nasty ones teaching me.
Or rather, their nasty sides haven't shown, haha!
I don't have any favourite teacher, as I said they're all good, but I think Mrs Koh our form teacher is really nice((:
And OH my english teacher Mrs Tan spells A-W-E-S-O-M-E. She's cool and she has a great dress sense, according to me. (Okay, at least her clothes match.)
OH and Ms Hoo (who?? xD) is really really funny. But I don't agree that she's the least intimidating teacher I'll ever meet in my entire academic career. I think I've met others who've been less intimidating. But she's really nice! And believe it or not, I like math loads this year. So challenging, so fun. HAH. And, I'm gonna like it more than I like science if the chem teacher doesn't improve her score of how interesting she is on a scale of 1 to 10. Okay, joking! She's not that bad. She's quite nice, not THAT boring. I bet God knew which subjects to give me interesting teachers for. MATH, and CHINESE. Okay chinese teacher not THAT interesting but tons better than last year!
Ms Ong Su Juin is really quiet. But I doubt she is, as Ms Sharon Ong's friend. She's either really talkative (like ms ong, making them click,) or REALLY quiet and listen-ish, listening to everything Ms Ong (Sharon) has to say! HAHA. Unline poles attract, huh? xD June and I concluded this, heh.
Oh, I shall talk about Laura's new loves for 2008.
Math, and PE!
PE first. This year, we're doing basketball, badminton and rock climbing!
Ahh all so cool! So exciting!
We're doing basketball now. We play a lot and we don't need to run rounds. COOL xD
I hate running stuff like 3 rounds.
It's the time when you get all huffed up but you haven't stabilised. Like if you run 2.4, by the end of it you're not THAT tired, esp if you run continuously because the running motion is very regular! 3 rounds is the WORST.
Anyway, I love basketball. Somehow, I became slightly more athletic during the holidays. HAH. But I'm a terrible defender. I can only attack, hah. Basketball is awesome.....
COMPARED TO NETBALL WITH ALL THE STUPID 1/3 COURT RULES o__O
Badminton!
Haha, we learnt it in NYPS. I couldn't serve at all (is that how serve is spelt?)
I would hold the shuttlecock, drop it, and hit air.
HAH.
How laughable.
Amazingly, last Sunday my parents brought me out for 3 hours solely with the intention to teach me badminton. The coolest thing- it wasn't as hard as I thought it was. HEH.
I CAN SERVE! YAY!
Lol, that was dramatic. But badminton is cool!
Okay well I'm definitely nothing more than an enthusiastic badminton learner at this point in time. I'm not even a novice. I'm a second timer, hah.
Rock climbing is even cooler. But, I get a little worried at the thought that my life would be at the hands of some one just as old as me- my classmate. Yes, we are going to belay each other. *shrieks*
HAHA.
But still, PE is cool.
MATH IS HOT.
MATH IS SEXY.
Okay maybe not the latter. It was a figure of speech.
But gosh.
Haha.
I didn't get into A math but I asked Ms Hoo if I could join and she said okay haha so that's how I ended up in A math! Goodness, it's super ultra chao chao chao fun!
We finished 16 pages of math worksheets in the past 2 lessons. Another 8 due for the next lesson. I mean, she doesn't set us deadlines but she kinda... Expects us to do it. Haha.
Big change from last year. I didn't touch my math homework- Mrs Sia didn't care o__O
You can go ask Zunzun xD
I love A math! Believe it or not, it has totally 180 degrees changed my view on math.
*screams*
Haha.
And the cool thing is, my dad's math isn't as bad as I thought it was.
Okay I never thought it was bad, but I didn't know it was THAT good.
We were told to go home and read up on permutation and combination, pascale's triangle and binomial expansion (and their relatedness.) And I tried my dad.
Good choice, haha.
He wrote me 4 pages of notes (which I thought were... all wrong, or at least half wrong.)
Because I couldn't imagine anyone remembering a pile of useless formulas that he learnt more than 30 years ago.
BUT, I checked my notes with Clarisse Chu's printed internet notes.
The formulas were the SAME.
I was STUNNED.
ohmytian since when did I have a genius in my family.
(okay fine I vaguely remember that more than 10 years ago he did teach A level tuition but... that was more than 10 years ago, still..)
My goodness. How dare my mum say she's smarter than my dad.
Hahaha!
xD
Sigh, maybe that's where my genes came from, which is why I'm not performing very well.
HAH.
Okay, better not let my mum see that.
I was joking.
LAH!
Haha.
I wanted to say 'I was joking lah!'.
But it looked so Singlish but I still wanted to use singlish to emphasize my point!
HAHA.
That's why sometimes I do stupid things like that.
Anyway, my dad just taught me some more math.
Gosh, I'm gonna be thinking about n, c, r, factorials and n(n-1)(n-2) thingums all night to prove that (r+1) = n! / r! (n-r)! Something like that, the ncr thing, if my memory hasn't failed me yet.
And I have quite some homework and piano and voice to practice, by the way...
And I shouldn't be spending time on math since spending time on math will only pull my GPA down, because it's my best subject and the GPA won't go up. So studying math only means less time for other subjects which = GPA drops.
That was last year's logic, which is a reason for not doing math homework, hee.
And which partially contributed to my algebra test downfall.
Anyway, should go sleep now, bye!

2008-01-11T19:17:00.000+08:00

It's funny how sometimes I don't have anything to blog about, and sometimes the things to blog about come swarming in. I blog using 'blog-it's. No, it's not a brand of some idea-remembering system. My 'blog-it's are scraps of paper on which I write my ingenious (joking!) ideas ((:
Let me type you yesterday's.

TAWG yesterday was a squeeze. I had so little time for so much. So my dad, eager to teach me math, told me, "Okay BE QUICK." Oh man, I don't like that. But I tried. So, I used the 2 songs I found on Ruth's blog for TAWG (though the chords were wrong)! The 'no eye has seen no ear has heard' and 'empower me'. I thought empower me was quite out of place because I wasn't feeling inadequate like I was before SP class! But I sang it anyway, being in a hurry. After worship, I reached over for my Bible and I saw my comp MSN window blinking and 1 unread SMS. I was SO tempted to check out what was there. I am a VERY curious person, trust me. Anyway, yea, but thank God I didn't. I'm someone who cannot handle anything else during TAWG. Otherwise I really can't concentrate! Yep. And I controlled myself not to check what I received until the end of TAWG!
Okay yep but that wasn't the main story, actually! The main story was the content of the SMS. The IM was just an... added distraction! Sorry, didn't mean to say that of you, what I meant was, at that point in time it was a distraction (also because I didn't bother to fold my screen down!)
The SMS was from Bro Zhi Hao, regarding the encouraging email.
And the SMS literally send shudders down my spine. Not only that, but goosebumps all over my skin and my blood froze. It was THAT bad. Hah, I bet you're dying to know what it is. HAH. Shall I tell you?
Of course I won't...................
Not, tell you.
I won't not tell you, so of course I'll tell you!
Wait wait wait. This means I cannot give my blog add to any of the allstars.
I don't think I should blog it.
But what BZH SMSed me was something that shocked me. I emailed what came to mind, and I really didn't expect that it came across quite strongly, to the point that I might appear to become the head of the group, which in BZH's opinion wasn't entirely a bad thing but had it's consequences. But he told me to send the email out.
And I was really really overwhelmed. I was stunned.
I chose the topic just to start the year well and I also hoped to bless them like how Benn has blessed me just by having a blog with a long history ((: It was a simple topic and wasn't very deep, and it's also what I think is one of the most encouraging personal stories I have to tell. Each time I think of it, the thoughts in my head swirl around, like "aweso-amazin-great-cooool". The reason why the words aren't all complete is because I don't finish my thoughts. They come and they go, very quickly. And back to the story. I didn't expect a topic like this to have such an impact. I was really worried about how I was going to 'operate' as a 'regarded' buzz group 'head' (in BZH's words.) Note, it's regarded, not actual.
And even as I was drowning in my sea of inadequacy, there was a song ringing in my head.
Empower me, like a rushing river flowing through the sea
Lord send Your Holy Spirit flowing down through me
Till I'm living as Your child
Victorious and free
Send the power of Your love
Empower me.
I don't know why, but just the 2 words empower me have a wealth of meaning to me. And that, to me, is like God pouring forth His annointing and POWER upon me/whoever is singing!
Amazing.
And goodness me. Why am I using such expressions 'drowning in my sea of..' 'wealth of..'.
oh my tian, school's having an effect on me
*faints*
Come to think of it, haven't been using that for some time!
*gasps*
how fun
*chuckles*
Okay okay I have a lot to talk about about school and all.
I'll change post to differentiate the change in mood ((;

2008-01-10T20:13:00.000+08:00

Empower Me

G C D7

Nobody knows, how weak I am

Better than You

C D7

Nobody sees, all of my needs

Better than You

Em C G

And nobody has, the power to change me

C D7

To what I was born to be

C G

Jesus be strong, in my weakness

C D7

Empower me

Chorus:

G Em

Empower me

C D7 G

Like a rushing river flowing to the sea

Lord, send your Holy Spirit

D7 E

Flowing out through me

C D7

Till I'm living as Your child

Bm Em

Victorious and free

C D7

Send the power of Your love

G Em

Empower me

G C D7

Nobody's eyes, see through my soul

Better than Yours

C D7

Nobody's love, can make me whole

No love but Yours

Em C G

And nobody has, the power to lift me

C D7

To reach for eternity

C G

Jesus break through all my defenses

C D7

Empower me

2008-01-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

The Bible is so powerful.
These few days, it's like God's been telling to trust Him.
All over again.
I remember all those extreme measures I took through the course of this year.
On and off, on and off.
And time and again, I would say "Lord take control. I can't do it by myself."
And I try to surrender, but instead I cling onto my control.
I tell myself, "I'm surrendering it!" but I know that just by doing the reverse, I am not surrendering.
And I know this time what the Lord has in store. Not mcuh, but I think I know what the result is. It's what most people would expect it to be. But I would never have guessed that this is when and how the whole thing settles.
I'm not sure, honestly.
But it just clicked within me during TAWG.
Well, I should sleep now.
It's nearly 11!
I don't know what to say, no clue as to how to end.
Oh man, how am I supposed to behave!
Physically and virtually.
As in, in person, and online!
I'm clueless.
Ohwell, God knows what He's doing!

2008-01-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

And, I SO hope I'm not in any trouble at church.
Please be honest and tell me if I am!
><

2008-01-09T22:10:00.003+08:00

Okay, I deleted all the posts regarding that.
Shifted to LJ in greater detail.
HAH.
Thank God for LJ.

2008-01-09T19:46:00.000+08:00

This is the new and improved version of email #1!
HAHAHA I like it ((:
but, it exceeded bro zhi hao's word limit of 200 words by 425 words, heh.

Hi ALLSTARS!

This email will be the first of many emails you will be receiving from me! I hope that these emails will encourage you to GROW in your walk with God((:
Since this is the first email, I shall write about what God has done for me! Why? Because when I was Sec 1, I was very encouraged when I found out about how God grew my Sec 2 senior so much when she was Sec 1, to what she had become in Sec 2. It struck me that if God could do it for her, He could do it for me. From then I became very intentional in wanting to grow.
Before I entered IGNYTE ministry, I was REALLY vulgar and enjoyed gossiping about people. I went after positions of power, good grades, and popularity. But even when I had these things, I felt an emptiness within me, like there was something I needed. So I continued to 'hunger after' those things, which made me feel more and more that there was something else I needed. Sometimes at church when I saw people engage in worship, I would act-cool but secretly admire these people for their love and passion for God. And I guess this is what led me to discover that what I needed was God.

But it was only when I entered into IGNYTE ministry that my hunger for God increased and I started to change the way I lived. New beginnings and camp gave me a kick-start in my 'new-found' relationship. Regular services and FUEL helped to recharge me each week. But looking back, it was daily Time Alone With God (TAWG) that really helped me. What I mean by 'TAWG' here, in your present situations, is effort. It means being intentional. I remember how difficult it was for me to kick-in the habit of spending TAWG. After 2 weeks I felt I couldn't continue any more, but at that time God sent me seniors who came to tell me "Spend your TAWG, it's really important to grow in God." And together with a close IGNYTE friend, that's how I started spending my TAWG.
The effort you need to put in may in to spend regular TAWG. Even if you do spend TAWG, have an active prayer life and all, I'm sure there are areas in your life God wants you to work on? Don't just take it as it comes. Be intentional! Make an effort to grow.
I've grown so much in the year of 2007, and I'm looking forward to more in this new year of 2008!
And just to ENCOURAGE (: all of you, here are the lyrics of a song that speaks my heart!

What He's Done
What He's done for me
Is so amazing
The love He has for me
I cannot explain
All I know is I once was lost but now am found
I was blind but now I see
And I know He can do for you
What He's done for me

I am confident that when you hunger after God, when you seek God, when you pursue God, GOD WILL NOT SHORTCHANGE YOU. GOD WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT YOU.
In an ending note, I really really want to encourage all of you ALLSTARS, in January 2008, to set your goals for this year, especially your spiritual goals, because they are going to shape and affect your priorities in life. What ever these goals may be, I suggest you paste it/write it some where you will see everyday. And every day when you see these goals, remember them and work towards them.
Be intentional, and shine for God!

Lots of lots of love (God's, and mine!)
Laura (:
[you can call me LOL]

625 words

2008-01-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

I came to blogger.com with the intention to write about the blessings I see in 2008, and then after that, write about something that's affecting me a bit. In other words, complain in a nice way.
But as I was loading the page, I suddenly realised that this was a blessing. It's a way that God's bringing me towards the goal I set for myself in this year! And this is to train me.
My main goal was to learn to love, to have a heart of compassion for people. Basically I don't like the way I'm being treated... It's like last year's seating arrangement case, a little, but in a seemingly less extreme way. But I think this year the challenge is up. I won't say how, I won't say why. I cannot do that.
I was telling my parents about it. And they were like "Why does she behave like that? Is it her upbringing?" "Then if so why do her parents behave like that? Is it THEIR upbringing" etcetc.
And I got quite fed-up so I just said "I don't care what her upbringing is. I just have to find a way to love her."
I realised 2 things.
1. I haven't been praying much. I have to work on my prayer life.
2. Loving isn't just 'putting up with'. Loving someone means truly caring for the person, bothering about how this behaviour is going to affect the person in future. And that means admonishing in love. But I've been reasoning to myself so much, I don't know how I'm going to do that. But I'll try to keep her and the other people in prayer and ask God to intercede for me. I think that's the only way I'll ever get the courage to speak to her.
And halfway while writing that I opened MSN. Guess what I saw?
Yesterday, I was typing my new nick and PM.
#LOL-ly I need to be conscious of the value God sees in each and every one of you
A heart for this world. The heart of God.
I know that was meant for pre-believers, but come to think of it, loving and having compassion doesn't just talk about pre-believers. Christians need love and compassion too!
God values pre-believers, but Christians do too! And we have value too- we can serve God, when we choose too.
And yes, it's about all of us.
And come to think of it, this blog is http://people-need-the-Lord.blogspot.com not http://prebelievers-need-the-Lord.blogspot.com
I just got the email list for our group!
I intend to send the email out midweek. Tuesday/Wednesday would be good, encouragement is most necessary in the middle of the week.
On weekends, we have church to charge us up.
Oh and I seriously need to cut the thing. Like CRAZY. To 200 words!
Gosh, that's about a thousand. Well... 961 words, to be exact.
Well, I'll go do my work for tomorrow, then have my yogurt and cut it (hopefully finish doing that) and then I'll do my homework for wednesday and then I'll spend TAWG, pray and sleep!
BIBLE READING PLAN!
IGNYTE is just TOO cool, ooh yea!

2008-01-06T13:38:00.001+08:00

I shall draft the first encouraging email for the ALLSTARS here (haha and hopefully you can be encouraged too! *grins*)

Hi ALLSTARS! [I see all of you SHINING FOR CHRIST((:]
This email will be the first of... many (about 22) emails I will be sending out to you, like a fortnightly Christian publication. And I do hope that these emails will encourage/uplift you and speak to you and spur you on in your walk with God!
Well since this is the first email, I shall write about myself. Not with myself as the focus though, but with the God that we serve at the very centre of this whole story. And the reason why I am sharing this? Simple. When I was Sec 1 and went for my first FUEL, I really looked up to the Sec 2s in their faith. Out of curiosity, I searched for blogs. I found one belonging to a Sec 2 girl in my buzz group and was surprised to find out that when she was Sec 1, she was different. Reading into her archives, one could see the spiritual growth that she went through and how much she had matured spiritually, her consciousness of the spiritual realm increasing along the way. And I realised that if God could do that for her, God could that for me. From then on, I became very intentional in wanting to grow in God.
Back to my story. I was born in a Christian family, brought up with Christian values and all, but I never had a relationship with God. God seemed distant and I didn't see the point of reading the Bible (so I obviously didn't pick up any Biblical truths.) I started to learn from my classmates at school and became really vulgar. I felt an emptiness in my life but tried to fill it by rising to positions of 'power', getting good grades and doing things to be popular with both girls and guys. But during the moments when I didn't have these things that I so longed for, the emptiness would emerge. Sometimes at church when I saw people engage in worship, I would act-cool but secretly admire these people for their love and passion for God. And I guess this is what led me to discover that what I needed was God.

But it was only when I entered into IGNYTE ministry that that hunger increased. New beginnings and camp helped. Regular services and FUEL helped. But it was the encouragement from IGNYTErs and leaders to spend TAWG that really helped me to grow. I remember the time when I was trying to start having regular TAWG and it was really hard for me to make it a habit. Always when I needed it, God sent me angels to help me. I started TAWG with a friend to 'force me to do it daily'. Still, it wasn't easy for me. After around 2 weeks, I was drained. It was excruciatingly difficult for me to introduce and maintain TAWG in my regular hectic schedule as a sec 1. Just at that time, a senior from FUEL told me "Spend your TAWG. It's very important." With RENEWED DETERMINATION, I pushed on, and it's been pretty much regular till now! I can't explain how TAWG is good. It doesn't make any sense to me at all. But TAWG is a time I really enjoy- it's private. And it's a time where you can REALLY be undignified before God. Okay this is crafted in the assumption that not everyone spends TAWG daily, but it's also part of the whole story (which by now you would have noticed, is rather long.)
And I don't know how God did it, but I can testify that I've grown so much in the year of 2007. I guess the periods of dryness, testing, difficult times helped me, and though I hate them, they are important in our walk with God. But when these times pass, when we finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, the feeling is fantastic. And it's not just the feeling. When you cling onto God in these times and when they pass, you truly see the faithfulness of God and that helps us (rather, me) to trust God more. In human understanding, that's how God's grown me, using daily TAWG to speak to me and to remind me that HE IS WITH ME ALL THE TIME!
And I'll like to now share with you a song that speaks my heart for all of you!
What He's Done
What He's done for me
Is so amazing
The love He has for me
I cannot explain
All I know is I once was lost but now am found
I was blind but now I see
And I know He can do for you
What He's done for me
Yep, just as God as done for my senior, He has done for me.
And I know that when you hunger after God, when you seek God, when you pursue God, GOD WILL NOT SHORTCHANGE YOU. GOD WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT YOU.
In an ending note, I really really want to encourage all of you ALLSTARS, in January 2008, to set your goals for this year, especially your spiritual goals, because they are going to shape and affect your priorities in life. These goals should be measurable, realistic, achievable, time-bound goals like "To spend time every day to pray" "To fast and pray once a month" "To bring a friend to church 3 times in 6 weeks".
What ever these goals may be, I suggest you paste it/write it some where you will see everyday. And every day when you see these goals, remember them and work towards them.
Be intentional, and shine for God!
Lots of lots of love (God's, and mine!)
Laura (:
[you can call me LOL]

2008-01-05T22:59:00.000+08:00

First service of the year. First time serving. First time as an ALLSTAR. First time seeing the ALL the other STARS. First time being a senior in lower sec.
It's been great.
I'm the encourager in my group, yay!
I'm supposed to write encouraging emails to them every fortnight.
Cool eh?
YAY.
And I think it's pretty cool.
We're gonna have SBs.
*gasps*
SO COOL RIGHT?
Anyway, yea I'm not in a posting mood now.
But I do want to talk about the direction I'm moving towards in the year of 2008.
2 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
In the year of 2008, this will be one of the verses that I will keep in my heart.
Another verse would be the famous John 3:16, which (honestly) I have not applied/remembered the essence of although I knew it... Rather well...
For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.
In 2008, there are some things that I will uphold as my personal values and priorities.
The greatest change in my direction this year would be the one centred around John 3:16. Actually I was looking for a verse that captured the spirit of love, and suddenly John 3:16 just struck me. Because God is love, and love, to me, is truly demonstrated through what God has done for this world. For 2007, my focus has been on myself, quite understandably growing MYself in MY walk with God for ME to grow closer to God, to read the word, to pray daily, all that. And I know that in 2008 God has a different plan. To turn my focus from being inward looking to being outward looking. In loving God, I hope to capture the heartbeat of God, His love, that in turn I will have a heart of compassion for the people around me, that I will value them just as God does!
And the other thing that I'm gonna zoom in on this year is to be an example. To live a life of faith in God, as a testimony, a reflection of God. For believers in church, like the ALLSTARS, to be a good senior (a benavon!) For people in school, to show the love of God!
One more thing. The verse is from the 10 commandments. "Love the Lord your God with all Your heart and with all Your soul and with all Your mind."
To place God as the very centre, the whole reason for my existence.
These are the key things I will do this year!
And I should go sleep now, after so much blabbering.
I would love to say more, but I think I'll go on and on and on and on ><

2008-01-04T15:28:00.000+08:00

Okay.
After SO long, I shall talk about school.
2 & 3 Jan were quite alright.
Boring talks and all, and meeting juniors! Yay! For the juniors, I mean.
Hahaha, I certainly feel old.
I think thus far, the teachers we've met have been really nice.
Nice but strict.
Miss Hoo is really funny.
And Mrs Koh and Mrs Tan and Mr Tan and Mrs Tay have all been nice teachers.
Or at least, so it seems.
I don't think we saw any other teachers today, haha.
Thank God for the good teachers((:
For french, well, I think Mlle Cheo thinks I have an attitude problem (well whether or not I do depends on who you are, and how you know me and in her case, she was WAY too nice!)
So, she sent me to a... er... not very strong class, just to be honest.
Heh.
M Levet is okay, I mean, he's funny and linguistic, I guess.
But I think he's quite... Strict... And slow... Even though he seems french and his french is good.
Right.
Anyway, submitted class transfer form, and praying for a good class xD And of course a good teacher too.
I can't think of anything to say.
Except the incident last night...
Gosh, I always seem to be getting into trouble.
And unpleasant trouble, with both parties.
I cannot elaborate.
And I can't get it of me.
I'm in trouble both ways.
Well, originally one...
But I said something mean and got into trouble with both.
Right...
This sounds like I got into trouble with my parents, but it isn't, just to, um, clarify.
I certainly hope I don't say too much.
Anyway gotta go vocal now, bye!

2008-01-03T22:24:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry but you're taking things too far.
If you see this, acknowledge you saw this.
And don't blow up.
I've said this so many times.
And well, I guess I divulge too much information for my own good.

2008-01-01T20:34:00.000+08:00

CAMP PHOTOS ARE OUT! ((:
Cool xD
But one sad thing.
Laura is not in the least photogenic!
Okay fine, she wasn't drop dead glamourous in the first place.
Not even anywhere close, HEE. xP
I look okay when I take my own photos, haha. Because I only take them/keep them if they look okay.
Haha.
I was taken, um, quite a few times.
The day 2 picture was terrible!!!!!
Haha I should stop complaining.
I like the one with hair covering my face xD
No wait, I shouldn't have said that...
(Didn't know it's me right! xD)

2007-12-31T09:11:00.000+08:00

I can't believe 2007 is nearly over.
It's 12.52pm now, as I type this.
12.53pm now.
And it wasn't long ago that 2007 started.
Looking back, I can only say that it's the grace of God that has seen me through this year, despite the fact that this year has it's share of trials and testing. Indeed it is true that the Lord's grace is sufficient!
I've said many times before, but I'll say it again: 2007 has been the rockiest but I would say the most satisfying year of my life.
I remember the numerous things I went through: integration to RGS and IGNYTE, having problems making friends in IGNYTE, rushed preparation for piano, bad results in MYAs, family stuff, my dad was hospitalised, personal struggles with emotions and temptations, moments of self-glory, moments of disapointment, moments of inadequacy, moments of weakness and hurt, moments of disbelief in the power of God. I'm sure there's much more.
But that's what I can remember.
Those were the bad stuff.
But this year has also been a year of: developing and growing in my walk with God, starting daily TAWG, forging friendships in IGNYTE within and out of buzz group, consciously living as a testimony for God, learning to let go of the things I've once held in high regard and surrender to God, and for the first time trusting in God's perfect plan.
I've come to understand and believe strongly in the word from Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love HIm, who have been called according to His purpose."
I can say for sure that God IS faithful and He has the BEST plan for each and every person!
I think in this year, my greatest blessings have been: God Himself! , Deborah Tang ((: , Sis Kassey & buzz group, GB & levites, 111, amazing results (I mean, relative to the effort xP) despite little effort, tremendous tremendous spiritual growth and much much more!
The significant events were (in order): orientation, MISSION MANDATE (debtang!), water baptism, piano exam, Sis Kassey leaving, MYAs, HOKKAIDO TRIP (: , played out, dad was sick, Sis Kassey returning, SP class, camp, Lombok trip.
I'm sure I missed out stuff!
(And I'm at a loss for words, heh.)
ANYWAY.
2007 has been a fantastic year. Rocky, more ups and downs than ever before, but the greatest, most exciting year in my entire life.
And I look forward to more in the coming year!
For 2008, (let me write this before it comes...)
I hope to:
1. draw closer to God. I tried listing out everything this meant, but, er, that was a bit too much to list, heh.
2. become and SP if that's God's timing.
3. become humble. I have to 'remove all my self-reliances' and trust in God. And give Him all the glory (I'm sorry I sound funny... Shows make me speak funny for a while!)
4. grow in compassion for the people around me. This is something I really need to work on- to be an outward looking person.
5. make God the centre of my life, not a 'sidekick'. To put God as the very very first, which is something I have been unable to do in this year of 2007.
There's a lot more I would have wanted to say, but I need to, er, sleep now, at 9.56pm, after my TAWG.
On an ending note...
I really really thank God for this fantastic year of 2007.
And I believe that in 2008, even with so many people telling me that it's not going to be an easy year, God WILL bring me to a new level in my walk with Him. And not only will I grow myself, but (especially in my buzz group) that I will use what God has given me to grow others. To be the 'Benavon' of my 2007. To be a good role model for the sec 1s'08!
Wow, exciting.
I'll miss 2007 a great deal, but I'm sure that God has better plans for me in 2008.
And I'll remember the 2 words Sis Kassey left me:
Faith, and courage for the year of 2008 (:

2007-12-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

Hahaha I <3>< Doesn't time pass fast? I still think it does. It was 'only yesterday' that Sis Kassey called me to ask me to go for communion. I can't believe it. And I'm getting emotional again. I'll miss Sis Kassey and the buzz group a big lot. A big gigantic lot. Gosh, I never knew I could FEEL so much. I'm not a feely person (I don't have feelers xD) Okay that's lame (but I can still walk...) Gosh, ZAURA ZIM, WHERE'S YOUR HUMOUR! xP Well, GTG TAWG now! I'm looking forward to 2008 but I really really MUST let go to the things that I'm clinging on to from 2007.
SOME things, gosh.

2007-12-29T15:11:00.001+08:00

A quick update: TAWG was amazing.
I only sang one song but I kept repeating it and it was like I wrote it myself or something.

Complete

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
And I will be complete in You.

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord.
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
And by faith, I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day,
And I will be complete in..

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears.

Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And I pray I will hold on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in
I will be complete in
I will be complete in You

I didn't enjoy my Christian holiday.
It was so empty, lacking something.
And I know that in God I am complete.
AND I KNOW that I am definitely out of my Christian holiday!

I read 2 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 1.
2 Corinthians reminded me to live right before God.
Galatians 1 reminded me of God's grace upon me.
That just like Paul (though much less extreme), God turned my life around!

Wow.
Thank God for the fantastic fantastic TAWG.
Should go prepare for church now! xD

2007-12-29T12:09:00.000+08:00

For a long time I wanted to post this but failed.
Anyway, I'll try!
From the moment I heard PGC use the word casualty, I told myself I would do anything not to become one.
But I nearly did.
It hasn't been an easy time for me, post-camp.
All was good for 14th and 15th, just that I was really quite busy, with SAC and all...
16th was fantastic, of course!
SAC.
But you people know what happened right?
Okay besides the physical understanding of it which I talked about, I was beginning to move backwards spiritually.
You see, BATTLECALL was, for me, shifting the focus from myself to others.
But the devil obviously didn't like that, and I was attacked crazily.
And for the 16th, 17th and 18th Dec, it was really bad.
I was very emotionally down, and that reflected in my actions.
I became very short tempered and TAWG was difficult.
I kinda did it on alternate days and out of a sense of obligation.
My prayers became self-centred and inward looking.
On the 19th, when things got better, I was so happy, I just chucked God aside.
And when I went on holiday, it didn't get better.
Well, I would turn to God when my mum was sick, for a while, during the holiday...
I won't talk about the holiday now because this is post focuses more on the spiritual side of thing xD
And the period of post-camp, which I believe for many IGNYTErs was a great time of growth, became a Christian holiday for me. I didn't spend TAWG on the 19th, 20th, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th and 27th.
And yesterday's TAWG was spent halfway.
And TAWG from 17th-19th was half-hearted.
Bad?
Really bad.
I've never slided backwards so quickly after a camp before. But I know what's important is to look ahead, focus on God and to get out of this Christian holiday as soon as possible so that I will once again be ready to connect others, and for next year, to be a good senior and role model to the sec 1s'08 of bro zhi hao's buzz group.
Oh and I joined IH!
Oh and 12 days after that was asked if I wanted to join worship min by bro alex (yesterday, actually).
He wanted me to push PGC for SP interview. I didn't say so, but I'm not ready for it.
Not at the present moment.
I need to get out of this thing, quick.
And, I still don't know if it's IH or worship min.
I wanted to type worship min first but I decided not to since IH is 'officially' my ministry!
HAHA.
Well, I really should get serious, pray and seek God.
Shall go spend TAWG now.

2007-12-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

Hello!

I shall now try to post as much as I can about Lombok...

And then talk about... my holiday (: which hasn't been exactly very great...

Why so I shall explain.

First of all, Lombok is an island off Indonesia... A little like Bali just that I've been there and my parents want to go to a different place though I think Bali was nicer and I'd rather go there!

Alila Ubud in Bali was really really NICE.

Alila is a.. brand of hotels... by the way!

It's quite non-comercial, but super!

Better than Hyatt or Hilton or in a present context, Sheraton.

It was so cool!
Haha.
Okay I shall continue, a day after xD
Today is the day after, but sorry!
I'm LAY-ZEE (:
HAH.
My flight tomorrow's at 10pm! *gasp* ><
BUT I WANT TO GO HOME AND CHECK OUT TKA (ISWAK 2) EPISODE 2! (or maybe the uncut episode 1 xP)
HAHAHA xD
naughty laura!

2007-12-21T15:22:00.000+08:00

I'm in Lombok! hahahaha.

Will talk about it when I get back.

Or at least later.

210'08!!!

Gosh, so stressful.

All the scary people (okay many of them, not literally ALL) are in my class.

Goodness me.

And the worst thing is, the Advanced Strand results aren't out yet.

Goodness!

My mum is too anxious to know (she wants me to go to RAM...)

*faints*

I'm not a math-loving person, but unfortunately math is my best subject.

Gosh, why can't it be science!

2007-12-18T15:04:00.000+08:00

LOH-RAH LUVS MEE-YOU-ZICK.
AND PEE-AH-NO.
AND GOOEY-TAH.

WHEE.
That's how random and bored I can get.
Things at home are settling, I think, or at least, I hope!
Can't tell.
My mum's sick.
Flu/fever...

2007-12-17T20:59:00.000+08:00

"If My people, who are called by My name will HUMBLE THEMSELVES AND PRAY AND SEEK MY FACE, then will I hear from heacen...forgive their sin and HEAL THEIR LAND." [2 Chronicles 7:14]

Amazing love.
Blog reading is good.
Especially when you read EDIFYING blogs.
Reading emo blogs is bad for the soul.
Or at least that's what I think.
HAH.
Edify! Edify!
Was reading the Trinitarian magazine. The lyrics of this song popped out at me, though I've never heard it. (I can guess the tune though! I can sing to you the version I made up, I think it's pretty cool *grins*)

Your grace is sufficient for me Your strength is made perfect When I am weak All that I cling to I lay at Your feet Your grace is sufficient for me

Well, I will place my trust in the Lord. Because I believe in what is written in Zechariah 3:17- " The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save."

We serve a great God, amen?

Oh and I just contacted the girls whom Deb and I street e-ed to on Friday... Er... If I'm not wrong, last last Friday. Wow, it seems so long ago, SP class! It wasn't though. Okay RATHER long ago, but seriously, one year is very little time. It's VERY LITTLE TIME.
But I thank God that even in VERY LITTLE TIME that He's grown me so much.
You can ask Benavon. She prayed with me in Jan during FUEL. On the day of Share a Xmas publicity (the first one) she prayed with me again. I hope (or think) there was a difference. But really, it's not HOW we pray, it's the posture we adopt in prayer. It's the heart that matters.
Seriously, I can't believe how highly I thought of myself last year. I thought I was a 'strong Christian'. My goodness. I wouldn't dare to say (or even think) something like that now. But I shan't negate what I'm about to say.
God has been good in 2007.
I am thankful for everything (in order, as much as I can remember).
For IGNYTE:
For FUEL, for Sis Kassey (which I can't believe I didn't like very very much in the beginning of the year!), for Benavon, for Ruth and Chuyi, for Mission Mandate, for Deborah, for buzz group (which I've kinda listed out. Should I? Abby, Xue, Benavon, Deborah, (yuenwan), (melissa), Xiwen, LAURA :D, Moses, Ezra, Ern Chuen, Jonathan, SIS KASSEY HENG :D), for Sis Christine (for praying for me at the altars many times), for JANNE :D, for the pastors and leaders etc. Gosh, I'm going into the details. BAD BAD BAD. ANYWAY, thank God for IGNYTE and thank God for SP CLASS NOV '07 too! (:
For RGS:
For 111! (now, I won't list this one. I'll DIE!), for tablemates Yvonne, Aidi, June, Deepa, Lanabel, Jing Jie, Vivian, Clarisse Chu etc (NO I'M NOT LISTING MY WHOLE CLASS! :D), for TEACHERS especially MS SHARON ONG- I don't know why I like her so much. 'Fierce' but FUNNY! (:, for everything in RGS.
There's so much I want to thank God for, but for 2007, I really thank God for Deborah Tang!
It's sad I only met you this year xD
And I also thank God for tremendous tremendous spiritual growth.
And goodness, this is called digressing! (:
And I thank God for a lot of family peace this year.
And I thank God for being merciful and giving me extremely-good-but-which-I-normally-regard-as-very-lousy-but-think-it's-very-good-because-of-the-amount-of-effort-I-put-in-which-was-very-little results.
Okay, that was long. But really. I studied. I studied hard for the days before the exam. As in the day preceding each exam. And I studied (albeit not hard) for a week before the exams.
But I used to do more than that. I was a primary school mugger, believe it or not.
My parents used to get me to study, supervise me all the time.
And my results were quite okay.
This year I really expected much worse in terms of studies. Don't know why, but I was REALLLY lazy this year. Something to work on, study more next year! But thank God, He still helped me to do... um, (I shall be grateful) WELL! :D
Okay I should stop rubbishing and just post :D

2007-12-17T11:38:00.000+08:00

Wow, battlecall.
Indeed, the devil is working.
Spiritual warfare is real.
But I know that in the midst of this situation that the Lord is mighty to save, that He will triumph over the enemy.
Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Battlecall memory verses, wow.
I know that the Lord is in control.
Before I talk about what's bothering me, let me talk about Share A Xmas.
I think (or at least feel) that it was a success.
Thanks to Sis Kassey, Fang, Jerome, Joey and all those nice people who went down early in the morning just to do decor! Thanks to everyone who turned up for making the party possible, with a total of 59 people!
I cried again though! I was really really touched by everything. I love Sis Kassey's buzz group 2007! *smiles* I'll miss them, but I'll move on!
It was really fun. Enjoyed myself thoroughly.
At the end of it, I called my dad, and he told me that my mum was unhappy. In other words, they were fighting. Thank God it was at THE END of the Xmas party and because of that my mood during party was good and I was able to emcee properly.
Well, the thing about the fight was that... It was my parents' wedding anniversary yesterday. And my dad's friend from abroad was staying over and my dad decided to have lunch with him yesterday... Instead of with my mum. And my mum was unhappy, or hurt, or angry, I don't know. And so my mum brought me 'shopping'. And to dinner. We talked a lot. My focus was really on telling her not to focus on what she sees in the physical realm but to look at the spiritual realm, what actually happens. Which is her problem. Which is why she has problems forgiving and all.
I'm struggling for words. I don't know what to say. This hasn't happened in some time and my mum's quite easily hurt, I'm quite worried for her. And my dad, well, he isn't sensitive enough. At least, that's what I see from my own human perspective. I'm praying, praying really hard.
I'm trusting in God and I know He'll be with me.
And the Lord led me to Joshua 1:9 this morning.
It was the first memory verse on the list for Battlecall.
It was amazing.
Joshua 1:9.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
I think it's amazing to know that God's always with me, that He'll never leave me nor forsake me.

And I will trust in the Lord,
lean not on my own understanding,
in all my ways acknowledge Him.
Let Your will be done in my life.
Let Your will be done in my life.

2007-12-15T21:31:00.000+08:00

BATTLECALL
It was awesome awesome AWESOMEEEE.
NEHEMIAH! Yea, the best group((:
I won't say very much about the games, just understand that they were very fun, and at the same time very meaningful.
By the way, MOSES (people like EC, Fang etcetc) moses couldn't have 'trust in Jesus, trust trust in Jesus' because Jesus wasn't there during the time of Moses! HAH xD
Service was great.
The services that left the greatest impact on me were day 1 and day 2 services.
Day 1 it was the worship and altar call that struck me.
It was so amazing to soak in the presence of God without thinking of anything else.
I think worship without music is fab fab fab.
We should do it on purpose in future (:
It's incomprehensible, really, how God works people people are hungry.
That hunger was really in the camp atmosphere.
We had one salvation in camp. WOW. It's like, camp sermons are for believers!
Day 2 (or was it day 3? I think it was day 3, oops!) service it was Bro Andy's preaching that really spoke to me.
I really like Bro Andy's preaching. It's very very clear. It's like, point blanc and really understandable.
No offence to pastor Gary though! He's great too!
Just that I realise that for myself, it's much easier to understand Bro Andy's sermons! I think I need the point 1 point 2 point 3 approach.
But that sermon really spoke to me in a special way.
It addressed one of the things that I was so hungry for in camp- a heart of compassion.
It was the greatest expectation I had for camp that God had met.
The moment Bro Andy started, I knew it was definitely for me.
The sermon was called "Reflecting God's love".
And it was about what love was, what reflections were, and what testimonies were.
And it just dawned upon me that we reach out not because of anything else. We reach out because of love.
I've always treated it as an obligation. Something like "God has commissioned us, therefore we as Christians MUST."
But I now know that we reflect that love because of God. Because of love. Not out of obligation.
And at altar call I just literally cried out to God (for the first time I actually cried like crazy, don't even know why. Just at that moment I just experience that love of God and I was so, so touched!) and I made a commitment to God to reach out by being a testimony, all the time, everywhere, and to do it only because of love.
Oh and then we were split into lower sec/upper sec/zone 2.
I found out I was transfered out of Sis Kassey's buzz group. I was tearing when I heard it.
And when I was hugging Sis Kassey I was wailing and crying my guts out.
Honestly, my first time crying in public since the first day of kindergarten when I lost my handkerchief.
I can understand why I cried.
My buzz group, or at least Sis Kassey and the people, especially the sec 1s (I'm scared of people older than me..) have been a group of people I hold very close to my heart.
I remember the low times this year, especially the time when my dad was hospitalised.
I only told 3 people about it, all of them were from buzz group.
No offence to you people at school, but I didn't know how to say it/didn't find reasons to say it..
And I cried, of course of Sis Kassey, and because of Deborah Tang.
Sis Kassey has been someone who's been there to encourage me, someone who has believed in me this year. And she's been like, someone I look up to but at the same time treat as a friend.
And as for Deborah Tang, what can I say? Well, I haven't known her for long, but it seems like I have. If you read this, you really don't know how much I appreciate you. I might not act that way because I'm highly unemotional, but really, I trust you a lot and I really really treasure you as a friend.
But as I told the people who tried to 'comfort' me as I cried, it's an immediate reaction. I'm not crying now as I type this.
I'm learning to look at the bigger picture.
To trust in the leaders' plans and decisions.
Even if right now, the leaders ask me if I would like to return to Sis Kassey's buzz group, I would say no. Because I know that when they decided on this arrangement, they had considered relationships. And very apparently, between Deb and myself. And well, they probably felt that it would be more beneficial for us to go to different buzz groups!
I've told myself many many times yesterday that I will take this challenge in my stride and do my best to contribute to Bro Zhi Hao's buzz group, and also to be an encouragement to the Sec 1s just as Benavon has been to me this year. Benavon is my role model! (:
Battery runnning out! Better go!
Share a xmas!
Yay!
Bye!

2007-12-09T13:13:00.000+08:00

My goodness, I'm dying.
My room's in a mess.
Uncle Sam You (okay not really my uncle, my dad's friend) will be staying over, in my room, while I'm at camp.
And my room is TOTALLY cluttered.
I can only clear it today.
Tomorrow I'm booked whole day.
9am-6pm SP empowerment.
Leave for vocal at 5pm, class ends at 6pm, have dinner, prep camp, practise vocal, piano and sleep.
AND THE WORST THING IS SHARE A CHRISTMAS IS A MESS.
I might be emceeing.
So I need emcee script.
And then we need to finalise the programme (order) and go to joshua's house.
And all that needs to be done tomorrow.
Before camp.
Goodness la, tomorrow lunch I'll go to joshua's house.
Gabriel's camp group leader or something.
And sis kassey isn't back yet.
OMG.
I seriously need help.
Gosh.

2007-12-09T09:35:00.000+08:00

Okay I will continue my post.
SP EMPOWERMENT! omg it sounds cool.
xD
The thing is, Bro Zhi Hao doesn't even know me.
Gosh, creeps.
But I don't want to go alone.
I'm scared of benavon!
Haha, well not exactly SCARED, but, er, INTIMIDATED would be a better word, I suppose!
Sidetrack:
I'm supposed to pack my room!
Was packing last night!
HAH.
Interestingly, I cleared my drawer.
Everything's on the table now!
And I have to clear the table.
In 2 hours.
After wasting lots of time on spider solitare, let me get down to work.
*sigh*
Goodness, I'm wayyyy excited for CAMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.
Gosh, I'm like HIGH!
Okay, well, I usually am in church anyway.
I can't imagine being HIGH for 4 days!
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHHHH.
I want to say some funny stuff.
I delayed saying it for 3 years hahaha.
I don't know if some of you remember my birthday party when I was 10?
I think not many remember?
Maybe Voon or Rachel, if you people actually read this?
There was this BODOH that we invited, called Zachary.
My parents' friends' son.
(HAH, not mine, okay? xD)
I knew him when I was, like, 5, and he was 4. Something like that.
Anyway, my mum told me that he went to Celine's mum and asked her "How are you related to Laura?"
And she said, "We're friends"
And she asked, "What about you?"
YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"She was my girlfriend last time."
Gosh, who wants to be HIS girlfriend??!! When I heard it from my mum, I was like, STUNNED.
Later on Celine's mum died of shock and went to my mum and told her (which is why my mum knew about it).
And she said, "He even spelt it out for me! He said, "Don't get it? g-i-r-l-f-r-i-e-n-d" "
Gosh, what did I do to deserve this!
Oh and another funny thing was in the beginning that he didn't dare to come in at the door.
HAH.
My mum was getting him to come in, he refused.
Then his dad said (embarrassed, of course), "Oh, he remembers Laura as a small girl and now he says he's grown up already so he wants to see Laura."
Gosh.
He thought I remained FIVE and he was NINE.
So when he saw me (I was ten, and a giant, mind you!) he was like shocked!
HAH.
Huo2 gai1!
Hahaha, I feel mean.
MEANO!
I want to talk about guitar class too!
It was nice.
Because BRO ANDY TAUGHT ME HOW TO STRUM!
I was like CHAO happy.
Okay well it wasn't very much different from the strumming pattern I know, it was just, um, more difficult. Hahahaha.
He was teaching me this drum beat thing, pretty cool!
And well, ern chuen's right that guitar isn't good for pianists!
I haven't touched the piano since thursday, guitar class.
Couldn't be bothered.
Voice is so much cooler.
Dr Wong!
hahaha.
I can't scream this camp.
Sad.
I have vocal on Monday before camp, and choir practice on the night of break camp, and vocal the day after camp, together with a performance.
Gosh, my holidays are packed.
Wellllllll, I've said quite a lot, I suppose!
I have 1 h 45 min to pack my room, and then we'll go to din tai fung for lunch (yay!) and then I think I'll have to get back home and pack for camp. And then practise for vocal tomorrow. And maybe piano. And of course TAWG.
And then sleep. And then tomorrow go for SP empowerment, then leave at 4+ for vocal, rush to east coast for vocal (!!!!!) and then get home, have dinner, practise vocal, maybe piano, spend TAWG, check that everything's packed for camp.
And then still attempt to sleep early.
And then go for camp!
HAH.
It's 10.23am now, 1 h 37 min to pack my room.
Maybe only 1 h 36 min.
Oh heck.
Bye...........

2007-12-08T20:46:00.000+08:00

You don't know how happy I am.
I don't even know if it's good to say this.
Bro Zhi Hao wanted to speak to me after service.
And I was like worrying the whole day.
Because I asked him why and he said "I know what you did last summer"
Creeped me, totally.
And I couldn't meet him after service, so he called.
And guess what?
I shall stop here.
xD

2007-12-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

Oh, I forgot to say something!
I cut my hair!
I now look like THAT ^
Okay the picture didn't really give a good view.
The hair ends where the picture ends, actually.
Which is why the hair looks long!
HAH.
And by the time school starts, my hair would be, er, longer?
xD
Oh well, DEBORAH TANG IF YOU SEE THIS, DON'T LAUGH! (:
Grow your hair long!
Then maybe we'll look like each others' past xP

2007-12-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow I've vocal AND choir!
*screams*
Lalalalala.
I'm supposed to sing Dr Wong a prepared piece tomorrow.
I'm worried about my in-betweens.
I'm the kind who doesn't lose the tonality (as in, the key) so I can start on a note and end on the right note (haha literally, I mean!)
But sometimes if I'm distracted/unprepared the notes in the middle go OFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
Eeks.
Anyway, should go spend TAWG/sleep now!
Buhbye!
P.S. Clara can't go to church tomorrow so I have to postpone bridge diagram etc.
W.O.E. (work of enemy!)
But I guess though Clara's ready, I might not be!
Gosh.
I should practise bridge diagram with hairy tail (my giraffe) every night (:
Hahaha.

2007-12-06T18:25:00.000+08:00

NOooooooooooooooooooooooooo
NOooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I hope you aren't like, pissed, or something.
I know I shouldn't have behaved that way.
I'm sorry, really really am.

2007-12-04T17:15:00.000+08:00

Shopping today!
Quite a good trip.
Didn't get very much though!
Still, it was a good trip because I got THAT prettyyyyyyy dark grey glittery espirit shirt I wanted!
Wowee! I typed that with my eyes closed, and this too, because i'm really tired. *Yawns*
*Opens eyes*
This is the espirit season!
Okay not really.
Just that the we did big espirit shopping sprees (as in, hunt clothes, target, wait for discount, buy, cycle repeats) in 2006 and because we got so many new clothes we didn't buy much this year, only like in total 5 espirits?
Haha.
But 2008 is here! Well, nearly.
My mum and I can hardly wait for the year to start, and since it's the hols, WHY NOT START NOW? (:
I think this post sounds bimbo.
BIMB!
Ahaha.
Change topic.
My parents are spending a bomb on my vocal.
It's $90 for 50min, and they suggested to Dr Wong twice a week and Dr Wong said to send her my timetable and she'll put in the dates and then we count the number of lessons and pay for the month.
Gosh.
8 lessons will cost...
$720.
For a whole year, once a week will be 52 x $90
$4680.
With double lessons in Nov and Dec...
Should be around
*gasps*
$5400
Goodness!
Thank God I'm not paying!
Just two years of lessons is going to literally empty my bank account.
*faints*
*foams at mouth*
*remembers the hilarious SP class video*
*laughs*
*gets nostalgic*
*sighs*
*laughs at this ridiculous post*
Gotta go bathe, anyway, so bye!

2007-12-03T12:29:00.001+08:00

I'm really really really DUPER high today!
Gosh, what's going on?
Must be Dr Wong!
Oh and bad bad bad.
I seem to have caught a flu.
AGAIN.
><

2007-12-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

W.O.W.
Haha.
Nick's testimony. Walking On Water.
Haha.
Haven't blogged since thursday night! Did a very short update just so I could remember what we covered during SP class.
It's been great.
I can't believe we've so-called 'graduated' from SP class already. It's been so fast.
We went SALTing on Friday.
It was fantastic.
Bugis was good.
Of course, God was the one who orchestrated everything.
When we got there, Deborah the brave soul, approached a pair of girls and then we jumped straight into bridge diagram. So I shared and talked and talked and tried to listen. And the most amazing and encouraging thing was that when I asked "would you like to cross over now?" the girl who paid more attention to me told me that "I would like to but my mum doesn't allow". At that point I remember Pastor Gary's words. It was so, so amazing. Thank God we clarified with him after class. If Deb and I hadn't, what I would have done would be to say "okay then you should obey your mother". Pastor Gary said something about accepting Christ being a personal decision and that was like in line with the first and most important commandment "love the Lord your God..." So we just told her it was a personal decision, but if she was unable to come to church, it was alright.
Yep. But even though we had a salvation I guess we made the mistake of not asking for her email when she didn't want to give us her number in the fear that her mother might find out. But I guess lessons are there to be learnt, and thank God for the salvation!
And that positive first experience really spurred us on and encouraged us. We got 6 contacts. Speaking of which, I haven't emailed them yet. Will do that soon! I notice that for Deborah and I, God's been giving us many positive first experiences. For saturation of flyers in Bishan, before played out, the first people we approached were this pair of girls and when we offered them flyers, one of them said "oh my friend invited me already, thanks!" It was so amazing that IGNYTErs have been placed all over the place and these people really make the effort and take that courage to go out and invite their friends! I'd love to invite people for The Father's Love but I'll be away! I know Deb will be there and she's great but my friends might not be comfortable. It's okay! Event or not, God's still good and He's still capable of bringing salvations(:
Today's service was awesome awesome AWESOMEEE.
Sis Trina preached. It was a very clear message. I can even remember what she said.
1. Know God, Know your mission
2. Vision for mission.
3. Stand firm for God's mission
It was about denying the self and following Christ. And we were shown this video about these people who chose to follow Christ even though they were persecuted really badly (hot water poured down throat, broken glass pressed on stomach, beated with sticks etcetc). And really, in Singapore we are too fortunate. To the point where so many of us take God for granted at times, myself included. We are too comfortable. But I'm not complaining! Thank God!
And at the altar call I just knelt down and laid my life at the altar. And sis trina came and prayed for me. And I remember she prayed that I would place God's mission before myself and I started to cry. Not the cry my heart out kind of cry, but honestly it was the first time I actually cried quite badly. It's a half good half bad kind of cry, as in, cry because I knew that I haven't been most active in evangelism or just in being conscious to live as a good testimony and I felt bad. That's the bad part of the cry- guilt. But I knew something had to change, and would change. And that's the good part of the cry, I guess.
After altar call and bag-fetching, we went to the front, waiting for sis kim. And P Gary was in the front with this girl and an adult and if I'm not wrong, some other people, standing in a circle and talking. And then P Gary turned behind, stared at me for a while, and then said,"Laura, you next year sec 2 right?" and then I said "uhuh" and then he brought me into the circle. Felt so odd. Turns out this girl Clara, also next year sec 2, came with her aunt. So naturally the first question I asked her was "are you a believer, a Christian?" She said "no" so I knew P Gary probably wanted me to PRACTICE SP CLASS SKILLS! It's so scary! It's not called practice, it's a LIFE we're talking about. And the scariest thing was when P Gary told me, several times, something like "it's all up to you". Gosh. It's so scary to hear that. But I believe that if God could give me and Deborah that kind of courage to go all out during SALTING, He WILL give me the courage and the faith to most importantly build a relationship with Clara, first of all, and as over time, share with her the love of the Lord through sharing with her my testimony.
Well, I've made my share of mistakes doing this (especially with Janne, I'm really sorry for taking up 2h of your time at one shot like I'm stalking you, if you read this. I haven't done that kind of thing and I didn't know how to do it and I guess I was over-passionate and too impatient and just jumped into it. I guess it didn't occur to me that these things take time! I'm really really sorry!)
Saturday after church wasn't good because I couldn't get that pretty pretty Espirit shirt I was gunning for because the J8 branch HADN'T OPENED YET. And the salesgirl actually told us there were 4 pieces of M there (as it turned out, in the storeroom...) And in the end we didn't get it.
But Saturday was good because I SMSed Clara and got to know quite a lot about her.
I didn't catch her school during service though, but it isn't good to ask twice 'cause people think you aren't listening.
I invited her for Xmas! But she stays in Hougang... So she said she may not be able to come. Hope she does though! Good chance to make friends with buzz group people!
And somehow along the line Clara told me her mother was malay. Seriously, gave me a shock. It's illegal to share the gospel with malays because their families would disown them if they weren't muslim anymore. But I asked Clara if her mum allowed her to come to church and she said her mum wasn't strict about it, so I guess it was fine!
Wow.
Wow.
I'm not in the habit of praying for people, honestly. I'm a very self-centred person I and tend to pray for myself. Okay not really myself. More like all the stuff I go through. But I think it's time to be outward-looking rather than inward!
Well, change needs to take place!
I shall pray for others today.
And tomorrow.
And so on, haha.
Oh and prayer and fast for camp starts tomorrow!
Can't wait.
OH AND MY FIRST LESSON WITH DR WONG IS TOMORROW! AND HER EXPECTATIONS OF ME, GOD KNOWS WHERE SHE GOT THEM FROM, ARE DUPER HIGH!
She was like, "she doesn't have to take voice as a second instrument, she can take it as her first instrument."
I was like totally stunned.
I mean, to get a Dip in voice to over take piano (which in fact my mum is gunning for Dip...) is like totally nuts?
Well well.
So many things on hand. With men this is impossible, but with God,
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
(:
Had better spend TAWG and sleep now, bye!

2007-11-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

Spiritual Parenting Plan
Intercession
5 finger prayer
Altar call protocall
SALTING
Bridge Diagram

SP Class Day 1

2007-11-27T21:49:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 7am and my mum drove me to PL on the way to send my dad to DHL! Not that he works there. No wait he does. Oh forget it, it's complicated. Not as if you people who want to know right!
Reached PL at 8.20am.
Wandered around with my dad looking for a staff member to babysit me because he was worried I would get kidnapped or something. Finally found a nice looking lady who brought me to the site office in the carpark! And then she brought me to the site meeting room. Okay she wasn't just nice looking, she was nice!
She put up with me until 9.40am, and I left to go to the toilet, and then climb to the 4th floor where I saw Gabriel and Ernchuen being random and spoiling Silence Please signs. And then I tailed them to classroom 7 and found SHANA! Hahaha. I didn't really know her till today! Hahaha. I finally overcame my shyness to talk. Laura's very very shy especially if many people know each other and I don't know all of them! So talking to Shana alone was not as daunting as talking to a big group of people. *shivers* Later I also got to know others like Esther and Alison etc. And all of them refuse to believe that I'm shy, and that I don't have ADD (attention deficit disorder, or something like that)...
Hahaha.
SP class itself was fantastic. I didn't find it boring I guess because I find stuff like that extremely interesting and just kept listening. The fact that PGC, Bro Andy and Sis Trina are very interesting people also helped!
But it was really an information overload. For the first break, Deborah and I, hardworking people, went to the toilet and then after that revised the stuff we learnt! It was about the apostolic church and the roles (priestly, prophetic, kingly) of spiritual parenting. And after break, the cell-based church. And then lunch, we ate cup noodles at shell (and I regretted big time! I'd much rather spend a bomb at Han's, thank you very much!) And then we learnt about... Er... OH right! The spiritual parenting plan, like learning about oikos, community, and then how Jesus' love won the lost through, um, unconditional love, meeting their felt needs and err............. My memory's failing me, I'm sorry! And then we learnt how to use the book of life and then we were taught to approach people from the angle of encouragement and to love and accept, not reject and build a barrier of distance between ourselves and people.
I think I probably have holes in between and I was far from detailed, but isn't that the point? Hah. Go for SP class!
Whee!
I shall get my parents to go for the adult one.
Hah.
I shall now go bathe.
Hah.
I'm weird, sorry! I guess many people know that, never mind.
And oh oh oh right during SP class we also did something about personal testimonies...
Sharing...
I don't know the turning point in my life! Both Deborah and I think it's gradual! I think it's camp, but don't know WHEN in camp either! I think it's when I entered IGNYTE, maybe, but that's not a good reason for a turning point, just because, er, a youth ministry is vibrant?
*faints*
I really should go take a bath.
Bye!

2007-11-24T22:57:00.000+08:00

There's nothing else I can say. I am amazed. I just watched Nick's testimony on the media page.
You can watch it HERE.
Wow. I'm amazed at the heart of thanksgiving and the faith that God has given him even amidst HIS kind of circumstances. But he says that while he suffers in that way, we have our own circumstances. "We cannot compare sufferings". And he talked about how God doesn't bother about ability (or something along those lines) but he wants AVAILABILITY. For us to avail ourselves for His work.
It's just amazing, I don't know what to say about it. And it spoke to me, because I know that there's something God's calling me to do/become and I'm hesitant and I felt really inadequate and that I can't do it. And even now it seems so hard because I see people whom I think are so much more 'annointed' than me and stuffs and I don't think I 'deserve' it, in a sense. I mean, I... I don't know how to continue after watching that video.
Well, God has been good, and, no wait, God IS good.
Haha. I gotta go now

2007-11-24T10:06:00.001+08:00

These few days, TAWG has been great. God's been speaking, amazingly, through songs. They just play in my head suddenly, and when I sing them, they just jump out at me.
Still. "be still, and know I am God"
I think that was because I kept whining to God and saying how terrible it was to not know what to do (about -) and just complaining and all...
Haha.
And then it was Power of Your Love.
We learnt the sign language in GB!
"And as I wait, I'll rise up like an eagle. And I will soar with You, Your spirit leads me on in the power of Your love."
I was praying for God to take me out of my dry spell and to just renew me...
Yea, to wait upon God.
Yesterday's TAWG was amazing. 2 Corinthians 2. It was so hard for me to understand that I went to borrow my dad's reference Bible.
2 Corinthians 2:16-17 "... and who is equal to such a task (representing Christ)? ... in Christ we speak before God in sincerity, like men sent from God" (I don't know if I've quoted enough here...)
The reference Bible says "our adequacy is always from God. He has already commissioned us and sent us. He has given us the Holy Spirit to enable us to speak with Christ's power... So if we realies that God makes us competent and useful, WE CAN OVERCOME OUR FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY. Serving Christ, therefore, requires that we focus on what He can do through us, not what we can't do by ourselves.
It was so amazing because if you read yesterdays post, I was talking about how inadequate I felt to be going for SP class. But I know that God will empower me to serve Him!
"I know You are bringing me another season of accelerated growth" wow. I wrote that in my prayer yesterday.
God is good, He really is.

2007-11-23T20:05:00.000+08:00

Piano is cool! Hahaha. Don't ask me what caused this sudden change of mind.
I suddenly think that piano is fun!
Cool.
I'm playing the pathetic sonata.
Don't laugh, that's the name of the sonata.
What's more, it's by Beethoven.
Okay fine, it's actually the sonata pathetique...
Isn't it the same?
I think it's super cool! The first movement is 11 pages I think. Sigh. I've only learnt 2 and one-quarter pages! Considering I've played everyday of this week, that's terrible!
Hahaha. But my mum seems surprisingly pleased with my 'progress'..
Teeheehee. Teeheeheehee. Teeheeheeheehee...
Oh and I think Mozart is duper talented. I was playing the twinkle twinkle little stars theme and variation (btw if you didn't know, Mozart wrote twinkle twinkle little stars as a theme and he wrote a huge set of variations together with it when he was 5 years old!)
My mum told me to sightread it until the minore variation. Hahaha.. It was okay.. But I made some mistakes and obviously played very slowly so the variation with all the semiquavers sounded duper weird. Hahaha. It's an ATCL piece! I can't believe it's supposed to be the same standard as the Pathetic Sonata. (Okay fine, the hard bits are in the later parts...) BUT STILL I THINK MOZART IS LIKE TOTALLY AMAZING. IMAGINE, 5 YEARS OLD. And he used suspensions and stuff, and I think he was like this super genius brainiac whatever thing. DUPER PRO! But hahaha that doesn't mean I like Mozart's works. I don't really like them 'cos I think they're quite shallow... Hahaha. But what do I expect, 5 years old! hahahahaha.
Oh and my mum is amazing. She intends to send me for ATCL next year and Dip ABRSM the year after. And all I can play now is 2.25 pages of the Pathetic Sonata? *faints* The whole song is like dunno-how-many pages? The first movement itself is already 11 pages. And she wants me to play Toccata in Em and Debussy Prelude and Fugue... Something like that. If you haven't realised, she's 'cheating'. She chose the Dip ABRSM songs approved for ATCL. HAHAHA. So that means I'll be playing the same stuff for 2 years. Wow. HAHAHA.
I can't believe I'm supposed to take ATCL NEXT YEAR. *screams* Goodness. I think my grade8 in 4 months boosted my mum's ego terribly. But the 4 months were like TERRIBLE. I played like 4h a day and was left with no homework time? Okay it wasn't THAT bad hahaha you know why? It was term 1. And anyway if I didn't play piano, I would have played comp. SO no diff. Heehee. BUT ATCL IS LIKE TOTALLY A DIFFERENT STORY THE SONGS ARE SO FREAKING LONG!
Okay I had better finish reading my chinese thing.. (I didn't do it yesterday so my mum's making me do today..)
Well, I'll be back home around 9.30! (:

2007-11-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

My mum taught me chinese today. My chinese is really really really really really really bad now! It was so scary to read the passages and realise that I read so slowly! Gosh.
I feel good. The first time I worked this holiday, haha I know, I'm slack. I haven't even read Whale Rider or Merchant of Venice, or the chemistry textbook, or get my dad to teach me math!
MATH. I love my dad's math lessons, so cool. It's like all the extra extra shortcuts and stuff they don't teach in school! I usually hate math. Boringg. SCIENCE! is so much better hahaha. Sorry I'm really high.
Maybe not.
I... I... I'm really worried. For SP class. I feel really really inadequate and I feel like I shouldn't be going for it. But I will. I've been so dry, I don't know the reason for it. It's been some time already. I think it's to do with priorities. And speaking of which, I'm failing in my attempt. Hmm okay I guess this is really direct. Hahaha. Well, I can't be honest and discreet at the same time! At least, for ME that is the case. I know the Bible says in Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious...." but I still worry like crazy that I'll stay in this dry spell. It's just horrible horrible horrible... I THINK/THOUGHT it had to do with THAT but now I don't think so. Not because I'm trying to escape reality or something, but rather, I've done my best and it worked and I was still really dry. But that is a separate issue that must also be solved. SP class, SP class. How despo could I get, I actually told MY MUM I was feeling dry, and really worried for SP class. My mum... I think has a warped understanding of stuff. But I don't dare/don't know how to tell her... And she's duper OS but nice most of the time! So well, I don't fault her or anything. Haha. But telling my mum is like BEYOND ME. I don't tell my mum this sort of thing, it creeps me. I also feel really odd praying in front of my parents. I'd rather pray in front of 100 strangers than my parents. HAHA. Okay not that bad. They're nice people, really really nice. It's nothing to do with them, really, just me! But I'm really praying hard to get out of this dry spell, quick. Preferably, before SP class... Sighs. I typed that because I just sighed. Hahaha. I don't sigh. Unless I'm tired. But I think this whole thing is tiring me and I just feel totally... Frustrated. I think that's the word, because I'm not depressed. HELLO? Do you ever see me depressed unless something happens to my family or friends or something really bad happens? Even then I'm not depressed, anxious is the word.
Oh and today my fingers hurt! I'm so happy! Hahahaha. I want calluses. I know people hate calluses but calluses are very useful! Hahaha. My mum when she heard that, she nearly went ballistic. She was like, "WHAT? Aiya don't play guitar la, just play piano, violin also can."
Actually I think violin is WAY worse. Okay maybe less painful, still hurts! And you get a twisted neck too! (Sorry shihui!) At least, that's what I FEEL. Hehehe.
Okay I had better go to do my chinese or my mum will be 'disappointed with me'! Hahaha. For wasting time. Buhbye!
Because I told my mummy that I would study today, and she said she'll leave me alone for the month of decemeber if I study for the rest of the month. Very worth it okay! I have SP class on 27, 29, 30 Nov so hahaha not that much study time anyway. And I don't like to work on weekends either and my mum knows that. So not much left eh? xD

2007-11-22T17:55:00.000+08:00

Came back from guitar class. It was... Quite basic.
We learnt chords Em, Am, C & D.
Some revision hahahaha not meaning to sound ego.
But TODAY I LEARNT HOW TO HOLD A GUITAR! AND A PICK!
And to use my middle finger and ring figer for Em instead of index and middle.
Hahaha.
It makes I could sing of Your love forever super hard to play.
It's D Em G A.
From Em to G it's so much easier to use index and middle. Actually can change fingering, like piano!
But I think it isn't good.
Like for arpeggios I don't care about the fingering as long as it sounds right but my mum will tell me off for 'inconsistent fingering' hahaha
-__________________-"
I think that thing looks funny.
I WANT TO LEARN TO STRUM!
But it's so weird to ask, like when the people are struggling with chord transitions, I go and ask err... how to strum the chorus of hosanna or the verse of refiner's fire...
A bit weird!
And seems so... Smart aleckish.
Today's lesson was bad enough.
I was like answering the questions really uneasily, really softly because I didn't want to answer them and make everyone feel that I was a smart alec but I hate silence. I HATE SILENCE.
And there was plenty of silence today, haha!
Oh ya anyway, I think the Jeannette from IGNYTE is really cool.
I paired up with her, and I kinda made us... err.. practise non-stop.
*Grins*
Hehehe.
Mean, I know.
I forgot that her fingers were really soft!
I know Corine and Alison were like squealling "Pain ah! Pain!!!"
And poor poor jeannette was practising with me.
Hahaha.
And she learns duper fast!
I remember during GB camp when I was practising like crazy, I practised during most of our free time and until quite late at night before I could play I could sing of your love forever.
Puhh. Memories.
But I think learning instruments is duper fun!
I love the word duper.
It sounds nice, nicer than super.
I KNOW, I AM MAD, LIKING WEIRD WORDS, RIGHT? (:
hahahaha!
Anyway, if I have the money, I shall go and try to pick up the flute and drums. HAHAHA.

2007-11-20T11:25:00.000+08:00

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I just realised that..............
SP CLASS ON 29NOV CLASHES WITH THE GUITAR THING!
One is at Trinity@Adam, the other is at Trinity@Paya Lebar.
One is 2pm-4pm, the other is 10am-5pm.
HAHAHAHA.
GREAT.
Of course I'll be going for the SP class.
STILL.
I'm missing TWO guitar classes (Sis kassey said missing the 20Dec one for holiday was okay)
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
><
*changes topic*
I think I should put in more effort to spend TAWG in the LATE MORNING, or AFTERNOON, instead of at 11.59pm at night, or 1am in the morning.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Gosh, my life is quite a mess right now.
I SHOULD:
-spend more concentrated, focused, less of a I-have-to-do-this kind of TAWG
-sleep early
-tidy my table
-exercise like crazy
-study like crazy (I haven't started...)
-STOP PLAYING NEOPETS!
-start working for share a christmas! (meeting is tomorrow, a lot of work to be done, AND I HAVEN'T STARTED =X *screams*)
-basically, be a good girl this holiday.
I WANT TO SKATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..
AHHHH I'M SUPER RANDOM AND SUPER HIGH AND I SHOULD STOP BLOGGING NOW AND GO AND PACK MY ROOM AND THEN GO AND SEE MY ORTHODONTIST AND THEN WHEN I GET BACK SPEND TAWG, PLAY THE PIANO AND THEN PLAN FOR THE CHRISTMAS PARTY AND FINISH IT BEFORE I SLEEP.
NOW, ISN'T THAT A LOT TO DO?
><
GOOD-BYE!
(I JUST LEARNT THAT GOOD-BYE WAS ACTUALLY SHORT FOR God-be-with-ye!)

2007-11-19T15:38:00.000+08:00

Try this, I promise it'll be cool.
Honestly.
Honestly.
If you don't like it, kill me whatever way you'd like to (bonking my head, playing scary music, whatever.)
xD hahahaha

Put The Big Red Button on your site

2007-11-17T22:57:00.001+08:00

Bro Kahfei(fai..) was talking about conversations with God, and he told us about one of his own.
I found it so real, and it was something that struck me for the first time.
Anyway, what God told him was that He first reminded him of Jesus' occupation on earth.
He was a carpenter.
And carpenters handled wood, hammers and nails.
Familiar?
They are the very same objects used when Jesus was crucified; they were preparing Him for His purpose- to die for us.
And in the same way, whatever we go through now are to prepare us for what is to come in the future.
Like trainings after trainings for an athlete.
Hurdles, high jump.
You keep jumping so you can clear the rope/bar during the 'competition' itself.
Same, isn't it?

2007-11-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

Dr Wong has changed, totally.
She has short hair now.
She is really pally with everyone.
And she doesn't seem to mind if you drink water while you sing, or if you turn up only halfway during the choir.
Hmm...
I wonder, what has happened these 5 years...
But I know Dr Wong's standard has maintained.
It's just that she doesn't seem to conduct any auditions at all.
It's scary how much she's changed.
I remember the YMCA time when she advertised in the papers 7 years ago that she was auditioning kids.
And so many people turned up.
And she picked like... 50?
It's amazing how much she's changed.
I'm surprised.
I really am.
Oh and it appears that she remembers me.
Her 'laughing queen'.
HAHAHA! xD
Oh well. I wonder how it'll be like to stay on in her choir.

2007-11-17T11:10:00.000+08:00

I'm duper worried!
I'm going to Dr Wong's choir again.
Gosh.
The last time I went there was when I was P1!
At this time of the year.
I REMEMBER.
Goodness.
That time, I was the youngest.
Now, I'll be like... One of the oldest?
SO scary!
AND, I'm recovering from a cold.
And I sound funny, to me.
Okay ignore me, I'm high.

Learning to let go

2007-11-16T14:27:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt sometimes you need to let go of some things? When i was young, the most difficult to let go, is the desire to get the toys i want. I would cry big time at the shopping centre hoping that my parents would buy me that particular toy. Well, many times it did not go my way. Then as we grow up, we realized it more than toys... sometimes it could be things that we treasure and possessed for the longest time. I think the most difficult part being a Christian is learning to submit and allow God to take away my treasured possessions. I was doing my tawg and the Holy Spirit reminded me this verse, where your heart is, there will also lay your treasure. In other words, God was asking me do you trust me enough to give your treasured things and allow me to work at it and allow your heart to be possessed by only God alone.

Many times, i thought i have given up then i realized i have not. Maybe it can get a little tiring. it's like u know it but then your feeling tells you other wise but i think that is a process of growing and understand God's bigger plan for my life.

As you read my blog, what are the things you treasuring and you feel God is calling you to give up? Sometimes, it can be as simple as giving up playing certain games that takes away your time in spending God to Friends you love to people who are close to you but knowing that it would be better to watch from afar.

Life is full of surprises, many times things does not last long but one thing for sure, God's plan and love for you and I is eternal. Got to remind myself everyday as i allow the Master to take my treasures one by one.

Love you all, PGC

The moment I saw the Title of Pastor Gary's post (which is the title of my own post here), I knew very well that God was speaking to me.
I think some of you know from my previous posts that there's something I'm struggling with and I'm really trying to release my grip from. And sometimes I'm content simply telling myself that it's okay, and it's not 100% ABSOLUTELY necessary to let go of.
And at the point in time when I'm typing this, well, I'm trying. I'm really trying. I wrote in my TAWG journal my prayer for strength. I'm exhausted by all this trying. It's okay most of the time, but I struggle when... (I don't know how to continue without divulging more info)...
Actually I was on the verge of just letting go- giving up. But I realise that God is renewing my strength and determination each time I find my will weak.
Deborah Tang told me to stay strong, not give up. And to know that someone is behind you and supporting you is a great encouragement in itself.
And now, Pastor Gary's post. Well, what I can say is that, really, God is good, and His mercy endures forever.
Anyway, let me change topic. I was in my mum's car, and my mum said,"Nowadays I notice you don't say very much to your friends."
Then I don't know why, but I suddenly said,"Actually I never really did. I either had very talkative friends who talked most of the time so I could insert my input only occasionally, or I was gossiping. And since nowadays I try not to gossip at all, there isn't very much to say."
UHHUH.
That's quite true. Actually.
Hahahaha. And my mum said,"You've grown a lot this year."
Which is surprising she even noticed because when I'm with my mum I... Don't really like to talk about the real stuff that my life revolves around. I'm close to my parents but I'm not really comfortable. Don't know why.. I usually escape by talking about the things that HER life revolves around.
Makes things easier for me.
My parents oppose relationships.
But they are really weird in the sense that they tend to enjoy 'matchmaking' me with people for fun.
And, the whole terrible thing about it is that they tend to be.... Quite right.
I don't usually talk about guys at home.
But when they do pick up names from phone calls or anything and everything, they would be like "What's -random guy's name- like? Cute? Smart? etcetcetc"
There's something else that's very creepy about them.
But I shan't say here because I'm a secretive person.
But if you're dying of curiosity you can always come and ask me!
Actually, I already said it, I just realised.
Well, I didn't elaborate, so it's up to your interpretation.
No wait. It would be better if I elaborated, because interpretations are fatal.
Aren't they?
Oh and I went to the Dentist today.
Not the orthodontist.
The regular dentist.
She gave me this tooth moose thing.
Strawberry flavour hahaha.
My mum was rather disgusted, I think.
And AND AND AND AND OMG HOW COULD I FORGET.
MY MUM CALLED DR WONG SU SUN!!
YOU KNOW THAT CHOIR CONDUCTOR WHO CALLED ME LAUGHING QUEEN WHEN I WAS 5?
YEA THAT ONE.
NO WAIT YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER BECAUSE I NEVER MENTIONED HER!
HAHAHA.
HAHAHA.
ANYWAY, ANYWAY!!
MY MUM WANTED TO SIGN ME UP FOR VOCAL TRAINING ~WHEE~
WHICH MEANS I CAN'T SCREAM AT WILL ANYMORE.
SIGH.
WHICH IS GOOD THOUGH.
HAHAHA.
ANYWAY, DR WONG, SHE HASN'T SEEN ME IN 5 YEARS.
I LEFT HER CHOIR IN P2 BECAUSE WE WERE LAZY TO RUSH DOWN TO WATERLOO STREET EVERY SATURDAY MORNING.
HAHAHA
Why was I typing in caps?
xD
Anyway, ANYWAY,
My mum called her SISTER.
because Dr Wong never gave us her number (cos like she's busy and stuff)
so her sister was liasing with us and all that.
So my mum was like "When I told her sister that you were from her choir 5 years ago, she sounded shocked, but interested"
HEH.
HEH.
I WANT IT, BADLY.
BUT I'M SERIOUSLY WORRIED I WOULDN'T GET IN.
AFTER SO MUCH SCREAMING.
SO MUCH CHILI.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T KNOW IF MY VOICE QUALITY IS THE SAME AS IT WAS 5 YEARS AGO.
IT'S.... A BIG DIFFERENCE.
WELL, I HAVEN'T BEEN PRACTISING, AND I'M NOT IN SCHOOL CHOIR EITHER.
And my pitching has become not as good as it was in the past.
As in, I can TELL when something is out of tune (I can only tell if it's at least half a semitone off though) just that sometimes I get frustrated at myself when I can hear the note in my mind but take more than 2 tries to get it right.
I think I'm rambling on and on and on.
And on and on and on.
I had better call Joey to practise for publicity tomorrow.
Or we'll embarrass ourselves in front of lower sec.
*GASPS*
Well, bye!

2007-11-15T13:18:00.001+08:00

150th post!
My blog has expanded so much in the past few months xD
Up from like... 16 or something in April!!
HAHAHAHA!
Well, I take it as a good thing.
YAY.
I read the papers today.
Saw this article about this baby girl with 4 arms and 4 legs.
AND WHAT REALLY SCARED ME was that she was named after a (Hindu, I presume) 4 armed goddess.
I'm not sure; I think it's a curse.
Well, if anyone of you also think it's a curse, TAG! (:

2007-11-14T19:06:00.000+08:00

OMG MY PARENTS ARE DUPER COOL!
THEY BOUGHT ME AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR FOR 'CHRISTMAS'!
OMG OMG OMG.
HAHAHAHA

2007-11-13T11:17:00.000+08:00

List up to ten things you want to say to ten different people in no particular order. Do not state who these people are.

1. I thank God so, so much for you. I can't imagine how the year would have been without you. Your encouragement and all of your advice I really appreciate. I remember how God amazingly made us friends. Actually we've only known each other for a really short time, but we've grown to become very close. And I know that this friendship is one with Christ as the foundation, loving and edifying each other in Christ! I realise that I've not been encouraging you much, at least, not as much as I think I should. I see that heart of yours that loves God so much, and I know that God will use you to do works for him, big, mighty works as well as the little things that mean so much to Him! I really appreciate you, very very much. I don't know what to say; I've been very honest with you because you're so... Approachable, and there isn't much left which isn't mushy that I haven't said. You're a great IH because (as I wrote on your hand) you really make people feel comfortable around you!

2. We've been friends since, almost forever. I've got a thousand, billion sorries to say to you. There's so much I've kept from you in the past, and even now we're not as close as I would have wanted, though we're still really good friends. And though I told myself I wouldn't keep anything else from you, well, I shall say here that I haven't been telling you that I worry for you. I mean, your results are good, fantastic, and you're popular, pretty and talented. You seem to have achieved the 'pinnacle of success' in nearly every area of school life. At least, to me, it seems. But there's something I really wanted to tell you, to share with you, the joy I've found in the King. But but but but BUT I never could, or at least I never DARED to muster up enough courage to speak to you at all. I guess, it's the closeness between us that ironically becomes a barrier when it comes to this. It's sensitive, and it's... Awkward. But I know that when God empowers me, or someone else, to speak to you, you will open your heart and you will receive, because I know that God loves you very much! (:

3. I know this is really weird. I barely know you, and I haven't really spoken much to you. And I remember the day when we were in school and I knew I had to speak to you, so I booked recess. And there were people in class and I had to get them out and it was so, so weird. I know I owe you a phone call, but I just don't have that gut to do it. I don't know; you stay so far from church, it'll be unreasonable to get you over, but at the same time, I saw your needs. I used to think you were, well, nearly perfect. You got the best grades, seemingly the best friends and all that. And that was like, more than most other people. But when I got to know you, I realised that you had your needs, your hurts. And I realised that no matter how smart, how strong someone may be, it's so true that all of us, each and everyone, we need the Lord. And the reason for my blog URL was to remind myself and those who type it in THAT. I'll be praying!

4. You've been a great companion. Talkative, cute and all. Although sometimes I found you a wee bit obnoxious, I told myself, everyone has faults. There's a lot I've been wanting to tell you. As Christians, well, I guess we should set standards for ourselves. It's not true that I'm holy. It's also not true that you can't be. Because what God wants to see is the heart. It's the heart that loves Him, that really matters. I don't know about you, but I also think that it is important for us as Christians to live life right before God, and to live as good testimonies because we are the children of God! Many a time I've kept you in prayer, praying that God would soften your heart, to be quicker to forgive, slower to criticise! But read His word and grow!(:

5. You. You seem a little cold to me, I guess. I don't know you very well, though we've known each other for quite a long time. I'm glad that God has given you a very receptive open heart. But you know, salvation and discipleship are... Different. And they come one after another. I'd like to see you around more often, and to be able to talk to you more. I'm glad you weren't totally creeped by my long long phone call that day! At least, so it seemed. And I really hope to see you rise up someday to serve God, out of your love for Him, with your many blessings!

6. I would say a billion things to you. But not here. And not anywhere you would be reading, for sure. I don't know what to do about this whole thing. But what I can do is thank you. You were a great encouragement to me in the beginning of my walk with God. You were a role model for me. Ironically, as some time passed, problems arose for me. But still, what I can say is thanks, and God bless!

7. I guess I never dared to say much to you, because I'm scared of you. But sometimes I think you have a warped understanding of forgiveness. Or, of serving, or even of God. I'm not sure, maybe I just misunderstand. But still, you've been really nice, nearly like a friend. I don't confide in you the REALLY private things in my life. I kept it to myself at first, but later I told a friend. I don't tell you stuff because you don't really understand. And you expect a tad too much. Still, you've been really nice. And I can't imagine life without you.

8. You've been nice, nice, nice, nice and nice. That's all I could ever say. You're so tolerant, yet strict at times. Which is good. And you pamper me too! When I want stuff, you usually let me have it xD But I hope you'll come to like church, instead of wanting to go back to Grace? I respect you a lot!

9. Thank you for believing in me. Sometimes I really feel that I don't live up to your expectations for me. You encourage me, and tell me that I can do things that I really never thought I would be able to do. You challenged me and prayed for me and although I don't really know you very very very very well, you would make time for me in SMSes and sometimes even calls, or meals. You always seemed to understand what I'm going through, whatever it is that I tell you. There are stuff that I felt I should tell you, but never really had the courage to do so. I don't want to, because it's just so weird, and at the same time I don't want you to stop expecting from me, even though I don't think you won't. I know it'll be good for me, but I always told myself there's no need for me to tell you. I always told myself that if I could solve the problem on my own, I wouldn't need your help. I always told myself, oh those things aren't that bad, it's fine if I just continue. But I know it isn't the case and I know that it would be good if I got help. But...... I don't know why; I never seem to be able to bring myself to do it. Well, I'm trying something out. If it doesn't work, or if I really really feel the need to tell you, or if God tells me to, I'll go to you. No matter what the stakes are, no matter how hard it will be. But really, thanks so much for your love!(:

10 (it's so hard to decide on the last person!). Okay well I thank all of you. The many many many many many many many many of you who have shown me so much love, you have made me so happy, so comfortable. Especially those of you know me xD I appreciate! And well, grow in God!

Okay. There. 10.
I think.
This post is so EMO.
And so... direct?
I tried not to be though, even though, I'm giving everything away!

Canossaville Childrens' Home

2007-11-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

What an interesting day(:
Reached school at 9.30am.
When I stepped into class, everyone pointed and me and screamed, "GIRAFFE!"
I was TOTALLY confused xD
It turns out that Nadia had said, "Whoever steps into class next is a giraffe" and then, I came.
Hahahaha.
Well, we were supposed to pack all the goody bags and wrap the cookies, but JJ missed her bus and ended up late, so we played soccer!
Hahaha.
Okay it was a warped version, though.
Huiyi's aim was to hit everyone present with the ball.
I was the last to be hit xD
I asked Lynn to use the ball to turn of all the lights except those in front (but she failed!)
And after rubbishing for some time, JJ came.
As we all know, JJ hates to waste time, so we got to work :D hahaha.
FINALLY!
So we worked until 12, and then we went to eat.
I don't know why, but people are very amused when I drink fruit juice from those 1l cartons.
Isn't it the same as drinking fizzy drinks (which I dislike) from cans?
This time I had mango.
The last time I had guava.
Mango is nicer! xD
Hahahaha.
After eating we went to the home.
I'm running out of time and cutting details!
I like details but I think they bore people ><
Anyway, I'll say the funny/interesting stuff.
We took a double decker bus! Cool!
So we sat at the front row UP THERE. Lynn was totally creeped out. HAHA.
Lynn is so funny xD
Anyway we got to the home and played with the kiddies. And it was fun.
Okay I shall omit a lot, but I cannot omit the Christopher-Nadia thing. HAHAHA.
Christopher is this P4 guy at the home. He's like... un-Chinese?
For one thing, his surname is Fernandez or something like that.
And it's so obvious he's smitten over the SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET Nadia. HAHAHA!
But okay I won't let Nadia kill me.
I don't think Nadia likes him though!
Lynn does, because she's a soccer fan.
And Fernandez sounds like a soccer kind of name, we concluded.
(And Nadia suggested that she could have that name too, if they..... got married...
Fernandez Lynn (Cheng Lynn!) xP)
Hahaha.
Anyway, love triangle!
Lynn likes Christopher, Christopher likes Nadia. HAHA.
I shall not talk crap about people.
I shall change topic.
For the planning, I feel so shi bai!
I've only chosen the song and written the minutes.
I need to produce the publicity script by tomorrow 9pm!
*screams*
And my mum wants me to sleep now.
It's 10.30pm.
And I have to tidy my table. Exercise. Read whale rider, merchant of venice, chemistry textbook, history textbook, geography textbook, chinese textbooks and anything else. Not math because math textbooks are useless and chicken xD
I feel like I'm so hardworking.
But I might just end up doing what I did last year- not doing anything at all! Hahaha.
But I had better improve CHINESE.
Okay, and history. 2.8 for chinese, 3.2 for history :(
BOO.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I shall stop boo-ing and SLEEP nice.
BOOO.
bye!

2007-11-11T21:53:00.000+08:00

Talked to Deborah Tang and felt good.
I decided on my goals and how to work towards it.
And I don't care how direct this post will be.
Because well, I know I can't always be wandering near the fire, just making sure I don't TOUCH the fire. But that isn't good enough, because I'm dangerously close and one step away from having a set of totally wrong priorities that will be disastrous.

2007-11-11T16:39:00.000+08:00

I just came back from lunch at DTF which was YUM!
YAYY I <33>
It's so yummy!
I had xiaocai and xiaolongbao and dandanmian!
YAYness! Laura likes to eat.
Which isn't too good because she gets fat, but whatever! xD
Hahaha but I'd really like to lose weight this holiday.
But if I keep on eating and eating and (because I'm sick) not exercise, I think I'll be in trouble.
I've always been borderline *screams*
Not a good thing.
It's good to be thin.
It looks better and (according to my mum) greatly reduces the chances of getting stuff like cancer, heart attack, diabetes and etcetcetcetc.
Scary, I think so!
I should go and lose weight.
Hmm... Besides skating, what should I do?
I like food so I can't possibly STARVE myself.
And I don't like exercise, only sports.
There's a big difference okay?!
I bet you'll agree if you try my mum's sure-lose-weight-exercise-programme.
Hahahaha.
I want to learn badminton YAY.
Because seriously, I must be really slow or something.
I can't serve(spelling?!) !
SO PATHETIC RIGHT?
As in, okay I can hit that thingy back, but I can't serve!
I hold the thingy and I try to whack it but I miss! Terrible!
Okay I don't ALWAYS miss it, but most of the time *screams*
Okay actually I'd rather learn tabletennis but my mum doesn't regard it as a sport.
She says it's entertainment.
PUHHHH.
The most tiring of TT, I think, is picking up the balls if you keep missing.
One good incentive to play well.
Come to think of it, I used to play TT quite often! xD
Until recently HAHAHA don't know why!
And last year I was really really vain, don't know why, so I really ENJOY gymming okay?!
Oh I know why.
PSLE year!
Everything becomes fun, I guess! (:
And I would beg my mum to bring me downstairs and run.
No wonder I was so much lighter last year!
Oh but now my mum says gymming isn't good, because when the aircon is on, it's recycled air.
Okay I HATE TO RUN ON ROADS OR TRACKS OR WHATEVER!
It's so discouraging!
It's like let's say you want to run... 3 click?
On a normal day.
So you just run and run and run and although you've seemed to have run a long long distance, you don't SEE your final destination until a long while later! Unlike treadmill, just keep running and running. And you can SEE how far you've run. And adjust your speed! That's the fun part. I love love love love love it. And playing with the inclines.
My mum would scold me but then she figured out that because I played with the inclines, I had to run upslope!
Just now I also went for PLANNING!
For what? Don't tell you.
HAH.
It was good. We went to a cute little place called cozy corner.
Haha and then we sat on the floor and talked.
And I'm the minutes and script person.
Hahaha.
Wheeee so fun.
I love planning stuffs.
It usually gives a fantastic sense of purpose and satisfaction when everything's done!
Hahahaha.
As you can tell, I'm very HIGH now.
Which is half good half bad.
Good because I keep on rambling and making the post really long.
Bad because you'll have too much to read and get sick of reading, or seeing too many YAYs or HAHAHAs along the way.
YAY.
So, I'll go and do my planning stuffs!
No wait, I'll call up CLS and try to plan a meet-up before she leaves for China!
*sighs*
I miss cailaoshi! She's the bestest bestest bestest chinese teacher in the whole world.
And GOSH.
She isn't christian.
What if I don't see her ever again?
But if I get her over to church will it be in time for her trip?
Will she continue to attend chuch in China then?
It'll be kinda weird too.
Well, I guess the very least I can do is to live right and be a good testimony and pray for her salvation?
<3>

2007-11-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

Jean just told me that it's can xiang's birthday tomorrow. Oh my goodness. I look back and recall those... err... I don't know what to call them. Never mind, I told jean I will 'put my past behind me (like a criminal)' and it sounds kinda 'wrong'.
Hahaha!
Well, I wouldn't call it very right, but never mind.
For those who know the funny and embarrassing stuff, you had better not tag, because #1 I can delete tags and #2 Laura will hunt you down with a dagger!
For those who don't know, it's better not to know! *grins*
I shall now talk about service today.
It was entitled 'No compromise'.
I don't know what to say about it... I shall be an open and good person. No I shouldn't.
Ahh forget it.
Anyway, it kinda spoke to me because well I've been struggling with some stuff in the quite past past and the not-so-past past and something different I'm struggling with now which to me seems half-bad and to some others is not bad at all and to some other others it's totally bad.
Which is the biggest issue now because, well, I don't feel bad and I don't want to ... err (I don't know how to continue because deborah tang says my blog is too direct!)
Anyway, this post seems to be one of those most direct ones.
Hahahaha.
And I can't believe a shy person like me actually had the courage to respond to the altar call. Which is good.
I think I should stop talking because every word I say, I divulge more and more information! *screams*
But I think service today was good with the P6s and Charlene and Amanda Choo and Janne! (:
FUEL was good too! Sis kassey taught. And we did this cute writing activity to write a person's strengths on their hands.
I wrote for Deb Tang "cool and cute and funny and friendly and makes people feel comfortable around her"
I don't remember the rest I wrote though. Okay actually I remember, I'm just lazy hahaha!
Deborah actually said I play the violin VERY WELL.
Coughs. I don't even have like, a grade in it, and I hate violin!
I hope this isn't called hating your enemies, but violin gives you a twisted neck, a bent thumb and bad hearing on my left ear! I want to go for vocal training then I can do that as 2nd instrument next year, instead of VIOLIN *pukes*.
Oh and apparently Sis Kassey thinks that because I'm LOUD AND CRAZY *coughs madly*, I should go and join celebration host! Actually I've never really considered it, I don't know why! Maybe I should? Anyway, my parents don't want me to go for worship because they think I can't cope when I'm taking MEP and french, 2 extra subjects with extra exams.
So I should go and join another ministry, I guess? What about Ignyte host? Or prayer taskforce?
Okay naturally other than worship I'm 'biased' towards IH because darhling deborah tang is there! But no I won't make the decision. I'll continue to pray about it! (:
AND IGNYTE HAS AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR COURSE AND I'VE BEEN WANTING AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR AND MY GB SENIORS HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TEACH ME GUITAR! BUT UNFORTUNATELY I'LL BE ON HOLIDAY ON ONE LESSON SO CAN'T. Boo.
I shall go and learn on my own.
Guitar is easy to learn! I get my chords from christianguitar.org/chords.php
RIght now I know... A, Am, A7, B, Bm, C, C9, D, Dsus2, Dsus4, Dm, E, Em, E7, F, F#, F#m (I found F# and F# minor from E during drama night rehersals because I was bored and it felt SO GOOD), G.
Hahaha.
Actually come to think of it, that's a good number of chords.
YAY.
I shall continue to beg for an acoustic guitar (which my dad says he will buy soon because he doesn't want me to be playing racing and spider solitare everyday!)
I shall go and sleep because I'm having a flu!
Buhbye! xD

2007-11-10T15:03:00.000+08:00

Today's the last day I'm using my very first TAWG journal.
And I look back and I can see how much I've grown in this 11 months.
Seriously, time flies.
It seemed like EMERGE camp was only yesterday!
But far from yesterday, it's nearly year!
And in this year so much has happened.
Very very rocky, full of ups and downs.
But I've also found my faith and my identity in God and learnt to trust God when something happens beyond my own human understanding.
Because Exodus 14:14 says "The Lord will fight for you; You need only to be still."
This verse spoke to me the most when my dad was in hospital. I remember hearing Ms Wong talk about it on a Friday dedication service, then on Saturday my dad was admitted into hospital (and by then I totally forgot about Ex 14:14), and then on Sunday I went on MSN and saw Benn's personal message- "Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; You need only to be still" and I was so touched. Ms Wong explained the context of the verse (Ex 14:13) about the Egyptians, which in a modern day context would be like the burdens and worries we carry.
Even after so long, I am still amazed at the power of God! (:
Well I had better get ready for church so I can pick Charlene at 4.40pm at the bus stop, then go and find Amanda Choo and Janne outside the chapel at 4.45pm! What an exciting day xD
Well thank God

2007-11-10T09:33:00.000+08:00

Cantata auditions were TERRIBLE.
I'm not gonna say more HERE, it's the wrong place HAHAHAHAHA (:
I shall go write at some random private blog.

2007-11-09T22:13:00.000+08:00

I don't even know whether to regret or not.
Well I sorta 'gave up' ignoring.
And stuff are, well, sorta going... good, I think.
But then again, maybe not.
You know why?
I just can't tell.
You're either really experienced, or totally natural. I'm clueless.

2007-11-08T10:40:00.000+08:00

Five loaves and two fishes
A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breadth that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small

I don't know; I think it's just me. I like the lyrics of this song, Five loaves and two fishes, it's very meaningful. But I think, for this song, they should have written the tune according to the lyrics, not the other way round. Because like sometimes there are some 'climaxes', certain words emphasized by the tune which don't make sense! To me, at least. The tune is also a bitsy bit too complicated. But still nice, I guess!
But I think worship songs are mostly very well written because SOMEHOW, SOMEHOW, the tune actually brings out the meaning of the lyrics, to me. But I don't really like some new songs in the sense that they aren't very tuneful, like Kezzy said!
I like the songs like amazing love, I could sing of your love forever, potter's hand and some others I can't remember now.
These songs have nice sounding tunes and very meaningful lyrics.
I cleaned up my imeem playlist today! As in, I added stuff and added new artistes to existing songs (like Amazing love has newsboys and chris tomlin xD)
I HOPE IMEEM DOESN'T MAKE MY STUFF 30sec AGAIN! ):
Oh and I found a way around it!!
Don't just search songs, search videos too, because imeem doesn't cut videos xD

2007-11-07T16:59:00.000+08:00

Cassanoville Childrens' Home. Yep, Jia Ying and I went there to take a look today before all the SLs go together next monday!
We walked around, lost, for around 15min I think! Okay maybe not so long, but on the way back, with help from Aunty Susan, we took a really short route (: HAHA. And to think we didn't need to change so many times (Orchard MRT to Dhoby Ghaut MRT to Potong Pasir MRT to walk some long deserted stretch of road to Macpherson Road to take bus to Merpati Road to walk some more to Mattar Road and then to wander around aimlessly until we got to Sallim Road!)
Aunty Susan said that from school we could have taken a bus to opposite SJI and then we could take a direct bus all the way there. BLEH! (: Hahahaha.
And yesterday night and this morning has been like SO interesting -> no wait the right word is amusing.
AHAHAHAHAHA. But not only am I amused, I have been offered a lot of information that could be accurate or totally OFF.
Hahaha.
I shan't bother finding out if it's true!
Go tidy my room now, bye!